By the Lion's Mane: My Heart Will Go On
by carolinagirl2
Summary: Rose is expecting a child and planning to marry Caspian, although her heart still belongs to Edmund. Will she and Edmund meet again someday? Conclusion to my By the Lion's Mane series.
1. Chapter 1

**By the Lion's Mane: My Heart Will Go On**

**Introduction: ****This is my final story in my BTLM series. It's probably going to be rather short, but a lot will be happening. So let's begin, shall we? **

**Oh, and by the way, this story is called **_**My Heart Will Go On**_** after the theme from **_**Titanic **_**by Celine Dion. I loooove that song, and the words seemed very fitting for this story, so that's my reasoning behind it. **

_**Every night in my dreams  
I see you, I feel you  
That is how I know you go on**_

Far across the distance  
And spaces between us  
You have come to show you go on

Near, far, wherever you are  
I believe that the heart does go on  
Once more you open the door  
And you're here in my heart  
And my heart will go on and on

Love can touch us one time  
And last for a lifetime  
And never let go till we're gone

Love was when I loved you  
One true time I hold to  
In my life we'll always go on

Near, far, wherever you are  
I believe that the heart does go on  
Once more you open the door  
And you're here in my heart  
And my heart will go on and on

You're here, there's nothing I fear  
And I know that my heart will go on  
We'll stay forever this way  
You are safe in my heart  
And my heart will go on and on

**Chapter One**

I stood right inside the door, my heart hammering in my chest. I was dressed in a flattering lilac gown with intricate gold designs threaded in it. My hair was braided back in two thin strands to meet at the back of my head, and little purple flowers were entwined in my loose russet curls. Caspian stood beside me, also dressed in his finery, waiting to be announced.

We were about to formally announce our engagement to the Narnians. Hundreds of them were outside now, down in the courtyard, waiting for us to appear on the balcony to tell them why they had been called to the vast castle courtyard.

Finally, with a great musical fanfare, the deep-lunged presenter bellowed, "Now I present to you King Caspian the Tenth, sovereign of Narnia, and his new fiancée, Lady Rosaline of Narnia."

As the crowd below began to cheer and whistle and exclaim in surprise and delight, Caspian led me out onto the balcony. I forced a broad grin, waving and doing my best to look as if I were deep in premarital bliss, and as if there were _not _a huge lump in my throat, constricting my breath.

Caspian didn't have to pretend at all. He was smiling so wide I was afraid his face would split in half. One of his arms wrapped around my narrow waist, drawing me closer to his hard, warm body. I leaned into him, glad to have him to support me, because I was feeling as if I might faint.

We announced the date of our wedding, which was to be in two weeks, and then said our goodbyes. And finally I could breathe again.

I had told Caspian I wanted the wedding to be as soon as possible. He had been a bit puzzled, but was happy and didn't question why. The staff of the castle, however, were not so pleased. They would have to work extremely hard to have everything done in time, but I knew they would do it.

It wasn't that I was especially eager to marry Caspian. It wasn't that I was deeply in love with him, or that I didn't want to wait any longer than I had to become husband and wife. But I had to be married as quickly as I could, before anyone discovered my…condition. By the time of the wedding, I would be nearly a month along, and it wouldn't be long before I began to show.

After our announcement, I went to undress. The maid unbuttoned my gown, let down my hair, and unlaced my corset. I put on my favorite clothes- my breeches, boots, and loose cotton shirt. I tied my long hair back and then stole out of the kitchen door to the stables. After a brief search, I found that Andy, my faithful unicorn and companion, was not inside. I sighed, and set out on foot to my meadow.

I had discovered it a long time ago, nearly 1600 years, in fact. Although it had changed in that long time, it was still much like it was in the Golden Years of Narnia. I flopped down in the brown, frosty grass and wrapped my cloak loosely around my body as I sat cross-legged on the ground.

I stared at the sky, knowing that I should be back at the castle, being fitted for my wedding dress, helping plan wedding details. But every time I thought about it, the ache in my chest began again and my breath grew short with trepidation.

As I watched the fluffy winter clouds drift lazily across the cerulean sky, I wondered what Edmund was doing back in that other world, in Finchley. I wondered if he was thinking about me, feeling the same ache that plagued me constantly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews guys! Here's the next chapter; sorry it's a shorty.**

**Chapter Two**

_**~Edmund~**_

It had already been a week, and still my heart felt as if it had been run through with a sword. I thought about her all the time, remembering everything about her, desperately not wanting to forget a single detail. I leaned my head back into the seat cushion and closed my eyes, seeing her beautiful curling hair frame her pale, freckled face. Her jade green eyes dancing as she laughed, her mouth curled in that impish grin.

I was brought back to the present by the jolting of the train. I sighed, staring out the window at the drab winter countryside flashing by. I was off for the spring term of school.

I had just turned seventeen (for the second time) the week before going back to Narnia for the last time, and next year would be my last year of school. After that, who knew what I would make of my life? It stretched out before me, unknown and uncertain. But to be truthful, I didn't care much anymore about this world. My wakeful hours were spent daydreaming about a country and a girl in another world, passing the time until I could fall asleep and visit her again in my vivid, peaceful dreams.

Lucy sat next to me on the hard bench seat of our train compartment. She was nearly as cheerless as me. Rosie had been like a sister to her, and I knew she missed Caspian and Reepicheep. But most of all she missed Aslan.

She understood my depression and gloom, and did her best to comfort me. Sometimes I forgot that on the inside, she was really almost thirty, even though her body was only about fourteen. I had the feeling she knew what had occurred between Rosie and I on our last night aboard the _Dawn Treader, _and she strongly disapproved.

But she understood our love, and so she did her best to cheer me, and I hadn't the heart to tell her she couldn't.

_**~Rose~**_

The two weeks before my wedding seemed to fly by. They were filled with dress fittings, consulting the kitchen about the food for the reception, solving problems about the lack of flowers for decoration in the winter, and going over the guest list.

In the final few days leading up to the occasion, the guests began arriving and filling the rooms in the castle. All of the royalty and nobility from Archenland, Calormen, the Lone Islands, the Seven Isles, Galma, Terebinthia, and any other smaller nations were invited as well as any Narnians who wished to come. The ceremony would be performed in the Great Hall, in front of the Four Thrones, and then there would be three days afterwards of feasting and celebration.

I saw little of Caspian in those final days, but when we did pass each other he would smile, his eyes sparkling, and his handsome face glowing. And then we would continue on in our opposite directions, to carry on with our preparations.

For the creation of my gown, I would stand on a platform while the dressmakers from Archenland poked me with pins, taking the dress in there, hemming it a bit here, adding a bit of lace there. To pass the time, I told them about the old tradition from my world.

_Something old, _

_Something new,_

_Something borrowed,_

_Something blue_

_And a sixpence in her shoe_

They clapped their hands together, delighted by the old rhyme.

"Oh, we simply _must _find something for each of them! Then your marriage will be perfect and long-lasting!" the plump lady in charge exclaimed.

I smiled softly, amused at their excitement. I only wished I could be as happy for myself.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the reviews, and sorry for the delay. My birthday was on Friday so I was busy then, and then I had to drive several hours yesterday to my high school's state championship b-ball game (we won :D), so I've been a little busy this weekend. **

**But anyway, on with the story :D**

**Chapter Three**

The day of my wedding dawned bright and clear and perfect. Outside, a fresh blanket of pure white snow covered the ground, and the sky was a cold, clear blue. My maids came bursting in while I was still sitting in my canopy bed, blinking my eyes and staring out at the gray waves.

"Come, Lady Rosaline, we have so much to do to have you perfect for your wedding!" the maids exclaimed, throwing back the sheets. They dragged me into my washroom, where the tub was steaming with fresh, hot water.

They quickly undressed me and helped me into the tub, where I sank down as they scrubbed every inch of my body with all kinds of soaps and herbs and other beauty remedies until my skin was pink. They washed my thick hair, scrubbing at my scalp until I grew irritable.

After my bath, I wrapped myself in a warm robe by the fireplace while they brought my breakfast and combed my hair as it dried. They had curlers sitting on some hot coals, growing warm. I wondered why they thought my hair needed _more _curls, but I didn't ask.

The whole time, they asked me questions and chattered excitedly non-stop. I didn't pay it much mind until they began to talk about that night.

"Are you nervous about your wedding night, Lady Rose?" and "How lucky you are to have such a handsome husband!" It went on, their girlish questions and silly giggles grating on my nerves. They talked and talked as my guilt and nervousness grew.

After my thick hair had finally dried, they put the hot curlers in, winding my locks around them tight. Then they began to apply color to my face, adding pink to my cheeks, bringing out the color of my lips, and blackening my eyelashes and adding smoky color to my eyelids. When they showed me my face in the mirror, I was amazed. I barely looked like the same girl.

They began to help me dress about an hour and a half before the ceremony was to begin. First came the corset, cinched tight to make my already small waist unnaturally so. I cursed the Telmarines who had brought this damned thing to Narnia as I was leaning over clutching the arm of a chair while the maids pulled the laces.

Then came my skirts, and then the dressmaker came bursting in with her girls. "Oh, Lady Rose! You're going to look so beautiful! And your marriage is going to be just perfect, because we have found everything you'll need!"

I wasn't sure what she was talking about at first, but she quickly cleared things up.

" '_Something old' _is the King's mother's tiara. He told me to give it to you to wear this morning!" She held it out, glittering softly in the winter sunlight.

It was beautiful, delicately twined silver, inset with many small diamonds, but not enough to make it look ostentatious.

"And '_something new' _is the dress, of course. As for '_something borrowed' _I've found you the garter I wore in my wedding." She gave me a suggestive grin, handing me the lacy white garment to put around my thigh. "And for '_something blue' _we've got a whole bunch of forget-me-nots to braid into your hair! They'll be so lovely, especially since there are so few flowers in the winter…"

I was momentarily choked up, thinking about those flowers and how they had grown in little clusters in the forest. We had passed them often on our hunts, and I remembered a time when Edmund had swept up a handful and teasingly presented them to me, back when he was still a king. How long ago that seemed now.

Tears threatened, and the dressmaker and maids cried, "Oh, you musn't cry, Lady Rosaline! You'll ruin your face! No tears yet!" mistaking them for tears of joy and happiness.

The dressmaker continued to talk as she put the flowers into my hair. "Since we don't have a sixpence, a Narnian Tree will have to do." She slipped the silver coin into my off-white slipper. "And now you will have the perfect wedding, the perfect wedding _night, _and the perfect marriage," the plump lady said with a warm, motherly smile as the maids and her assistants cooed over me.

When I was done being dressed, and the final touches had been added, they stood back as I walked to my mirror. When I looked into it, I was stunned.

Before me stood a young woman with rosy cheeks and lichen-green eyes and hair the color of burnished gold that framed her round face with springy curls. My dress was white, of course, even though that itself was a lie.

It made me feel guilty again, but I couldn't deny its beauty. Even though it was winter, it was strapless and showed off my shoulders. It was adorned with small silver beads and the palest of blue flowers sewn on and delicate lace. It fell to the ground and trailed slightly behind me.

The dressmaker came up behind me and set the tiara on my hair and draped the veil over my head. She smiled into the mirror at my reflection, and then told me excitedly, "Come on now, we mustn't keep your husband-to-be waiting!"

I nodded numbly and followed her, the maids picking up the train of my dress as I held the front of it up and followed her out of my chamber to my wedding.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

I stood behind the heavy oaken doors, waiting for the two fauns to open them to let me enter into the Great Hall. When we heard the delicate music of flutes and lyres and bells, they pulled them back to display me to the guests.

My heart was pounding hard, and my eyes were misting with tears, both from the tragedy and happiness. For I was heartbroken that I could never have Edmund, but this was my wedding, and I would be married to a good man whom I did love a good deal.

I waited for the four flower children, two little female fauns and two little Telmarine girls, to walk ahead and lay pale flower petals on the marble floor. Then the little male faun who was ring bearer clopped after them, his pudgy little face in a bright smile.

Then came the bridesmaids. They were the princesses from each of the surrounding countries, the princess of Archenland, Terebinthia, Galma, the Seven Isles, and Calormen. They all walked down the aisle, smiling serenely, to line up opposite Caspian and the groomsmen, who were all the princes of the same countries. And finally it was my turn.

I smiled softly, walking slowly and as gracefully as I could manage down the aisle made between the rows of pew-like benches that had appeared in the Hall that morning. Two maids straightened out my long veil and the train of my dress so that they flowed behind me elegantly. The people and Animals and other Narnians on either side of me murmured to each other, smiling brightly, some dabbing at their eyes with handkerchiefs.

I finally reached the altar and Caspian, in his wedding finery, kissed my hand. His shoulder length hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and for once he was clean-shaven and his jaw had no shadow. I stood across from him, still smiling mistily through the lacey material of my veil.

Narnian weddings were different from weddings in England in that there aren't really any priests. There are no churches and no one reads from a Bible. The Narnians pass stories about Aslan down by word of mouth, and they are written down in history books now for children in the schools to learn. You simply love and believe in Aslan, or you don't. So since there were no priests to marry us, we had Drinian ask us to say our vows and to declare us husband and wife in the name of Aslan.

The ceremony went quickly, and before I knew it, we had exchanged rings and Drinian was saying, "And now, by Aslan and for Aslan, you are now King Caspian the X and Queen Rosaline, rulers of Narnia, and loving husband and wife. May you have a long and fruitful marriage. You may now kiss the bride."

Caspian stepped forward and gently lifted my veil up over my head and took my face in his hands. He kissed me gently and lovingly, and then the Great Hall erupted into cheers and the bells in the bell tower began to ring, pronouncing to all outside that Narnia now had a new queen.

I turned to face the rows of happy people, smiling as genuinely as I could muster. But it wasn't hard to smile, because everyone looked so sincerely _happy _for me, and Caspian was staring at me as if I were the only one in the room. It made me feel warm, even though there was no going back now.

We walked back down the aisle and went out to the front of the castle, standing at the top of the huge stone steps. People and Animals were tossing flower petals and birdseed over our heads.

I clutched my bouquet of delicate blue flowers tighter when I saw how many Narnians were out there. They stretched from the courtyard out through the opened gates, all the way down the tree-lined stone road that led to the castle.

When I emerged on the steps on Caspian's arm, they went wild, making every kind of sound imaginable, the roar filling my ears. I smiled until I felt like my face would split and waved until my arm was about to fall off. Just before we went back inside for the wedding feast and dancing, I tossed my bouquet out into the crowd.

We waved one last time, and then went back through the huge oaken doors into the banquet room, where three long wooden tables, covered in snow white table cloths, were set in the finest china and silver of the castle, waiting for the guests to sit down.

Caspian sat at the head of the table with me on his right and Trumpkin on his left. Drinian sat on my right, for which I was grateful. I wouldn't have to worry about making conversation with some princess from the Seven Isles who would want to babble on about dresses and ribbons and lace.

We ate until I felt I was going to burst out of my dress and corset, and then the music started up. Caspian stood and offered his arm to me, and I took it. I

Soon the rest of the guests joined us as well, and the floor was filled with the swishing skirts of the ladies, the polished black boots of the men, the furry hooves of the fauns, the short little Dwarfs and Animals. I smiled up at Caspian, who gazed back at me with his dark eyes full of love. I leaned into him a little more, letting him guide me surely across the polished marble floor.

I nervously made my way out to the floor, hoping I wouldn't embarrass myself in front of all of the guests. Caspian paused, then took up the beat of the music gracefully, and guided me skillfully across the floor. It turned out that I had nothing to worry about, because Caspian had been taught how to dance since he was a little boy, and my feet seemed to remember the steps.

**I know it's not what you guys want, but I promise that I have had everything planned for a while. Just keep reading and you'll see **


	5. Chapter 5

**I know there's no excuse for taking so long to update, so I'll just apologize again. I'm sorry. Forgive me?**

**Here's another chapter. Please review! **

**Chapter Five**

When the clock chimed midnight, we said our goodnights to the guests and made our way upstairs. I was tired and my dress was long, so it took a while to get up the stairs. When I did, I almost started towards my own suite, but stopped suddenly, remembering. My heart began t o pound with nerves and anxiety.

When we reached Caspian's door, I stopped.

"What is it?" he asked softly.

I blushed, looking at the floor. "Well, it's just…" I paused, searching for something to say. "In England, there's the tradition of carrying the bride across the threshold for good luck." I winced inwardly at the lameness of my statement.

He smiled and scooped me up in his arms, carrying me through the door and setting me gently on the bed. As he went to close the door, I looked around his room. It was much different than mine, with scarlet and gold everything, and thick bear furs on the marble floor to help keep the room warmer in winter. A crackling fire was lit in the hearth, and several small candles were scattered about the room.

Caspian returned and I faced him with a thudding heart. I was more nervous now than I was with Edmund, even though I knew it wouldn't hurt this time.

I took a slow breath to calm myself as Caspian leaned down to kiss me.

My wedding night was much better than I had anticipated, and many of my fears were absolved. Though it was awkward at first, that went away, and I could almost…enjoy it. There was no pain this time, as there had been with Edmund, which also eased my worries. I had feared that it would be like that each time.

Later that night, we lay close together for warmth under the soft sheets. Caspian quickly fell into a peaceful sleep, his strong arms wrapped around me, holding my small body to his bare chest and our legs entwined. I, however, took much longer to fall asleep, because my mind was full of thoughts that should have never crossed it.

I thought of the baby that I was carrying, so tiny and imperceptible. I was going to give birth to it, become a mother in less than a year, and Caspian would think it was his own. I would be deceiving him. My stomach churned at the thought. And Edmund…

I thought of Edmund the most, though it made me feel awful. I felt guilty for thinking of him while I lay in my husband's arms, and I felt guilty _for _laying in his embrace. I felt as if I had betrayed them both, Edmund by marrying Caspian, and Caspian by thinking of Edmund in our wedding bed. But sleep finally came to me, though my dreams were troubling and my rest was fitful.

**~Edmund~**

I lay in my bed at school, staring up at the water-stained plaster of the ceiling in my dorm. Despite the long day and the soothing patter of rain on the windowpane, I could not bring myself to fall asleep just yet. And it didn't have anything to do with Brian Winters' raucous snoring from across the room.

I was thinking of her again, thinking of our last night together, the way her body had looked in the silvery moonlight in my cabin. The way her flaming hair had spilled across the pillow, her green eyes luminous in the strange light as she gazed up at me lovingly…

I sighed in misery. It did me no good to think of her, only brought me grief, but I didn't want to forget. Since being back at school for the second term, I had become somewhat of a loner. The few friends that I had had before didn't understand what was wrong with me, why I was so dejected and silent now. I spent my free time alone, immersed in thought, dreaming about my Rosie…

When I finally did fall asleep, I was plagued by dreams. They were of Rose, of course, and they were beautiful and heartbreaking all at once. I saw her in a white gown, with white flowers and snow raining down around her. Her hair was adorned with blue forget-me-nots, and a silver tiara rested upon her golden hair. She was dressed for a wedding. _Her _wedding.

When I woke the next morning, I was disturbed by my dreams. Usually I could find sanctuary in them, knowing that she would always be there to keep me company in the night, but this dream had confused me. Mostly I had only relived memories we'd had upon the _Dawn Treader _or our night in my cabin. But this dream had been different, like I had been standing back from a distance and watching something occur.

"Edmund!"

One of my friends had broken into my thoughts, and I looked up at him dumbly. He rolled his eyes at the rest of our group, laughing.

"I swear, he's in love! He's never all here with us, you know? Part of him's back with his girl, wherever she is!"

They all laughed uproariously, asking me about the girl I'd found over winter break. I did my best to laugh good-naturedly along with them, but they had no idea that inside, I was falling apart.

**PS: I have exciting news! Drum roll please…..**

**The next Narnia movie will be THE MAGICIAN'S NEPHEW. ! While it's true I would have liked to see **_**The Silver Chair **_**next, I'm not complaining. For more details, go here :** **.com/archives/11600 **


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm not totally happy with this chapter, but I figure that it's taken me long enough to update. SO here it is **

**Chapter Six**

**~Rose~**

The next month passed blissfully. At least for most. Everyone about the castle was joyous and at peace, and the servants whistled and sang old Narnian ballads while they worked. We had many guests come and give us their well-wishes and congratulate Caspian and me on our marriage. Everyone in Narnia and the surrounding lands seemed happy and content.

It wasn't as bad as I had anticipated. Caspian was loving and sweet in everything he did, and I enjoyed being in his company. I now slept in his chamber, or _our _chamber, usually wrapped in his arms, my head on his chest. His presence was comforting, steadfast.

I knew that he loved me. From the way he looked at me every time he spoke, glancing at me a moment before answering someone, and the way he rested one hand on my knee or arm when we sat together at dinner or on the thrones. The way he would kiss me tenderly goodnight, the way he made love to me.

But all of his kindness and love made me feel so guilty and unworthy. And I was. I was hiding something from him, a secret that could ruin everything.

I settled into my role as queen with ease, and it wasn't very much different than what I had been before, except that I sat in my throne every Sunday for when the citizens of Narnia came to Caspian and me with their problems and needs. They lined up in the Great Hall, sometimes bearing gifts, and one by one, we would listen to them. It was a way to meet Narnia's needs and know what the people wanted firsthand, hearing it straight from their mouths.

I attended balls in lavish gowns and Caspian showed me off as his wife. And the each night, we would dress for bed, and fall asleep in each other's arms.

I almost always dreamed of Edmund. In my dreams, we would usually just sit somewhere serene and quiet and talk, or just lie on the ground, my head on his chest. Sometimes we were on the _Dawn Treader _in the crow's nest, sometimes in the apple orchard that we had spent an afternoon in, before he went back to England. It didn't matter where, though. I just enjoyed being with him, even if only in my dreams and not in reality.

Two more months passed quickly. I continued in my role as queen, going on hunting parties and having feasts and balls and celebrations.

But by the third month after our homecoming, I had begun to notice changes with my body. My gowns had to be fitted a little more loosely as I had gained weight. I felt tired all the time, and had to make visits to the chamber pot quite often. And of course, my monthly bleeding had stopped.

But no one noticed anything unusual about any of it, if they noticed these things at all. I heard the maids saying things in the corridors of the castle like, "Queen Rosaline must not be behaving so quite like a man nowadays; she's settled down a bit and I heard from the dressmaker that she's plumping up a bit."

And the answer, "Well it's about time! I always did think she too thin and didn't behave at all like a lady!"

"Good morning, my sweet Rose," Caspian said one March morning as he leaned on one arm on his side, looking at me.

I rubbed sleep from my eyes, saying, "Good morning," back.

He kissed me, and then climbed out of bed to dress in front of the fire. I soon did the same, hurrying to the door of my closet to escape the cold.

I caught Caspian looking at me, and turned to him asking, "What?" I frowned, hoping something wasn't wrong.

He just shook his head. "Nothing. You just have seemed very tired, and you haven't been out riding lately."

I smiled softly at him and then shook my head.

"No, nothing's wrong. I'm fine."

He nodded, looking at me a moment longer before turning back to his spacious closet for a shirt. I went to mine and selected a simple dress. As I took off my nightgown, I caught my reflection in the ornate mirror. My belly, normally flat and my abdominal muscles defined, was looking a little rounder. I turned sideways to see my profile, and confirmed it. My middle was protruding more, and it wouldn't be long before it became obvious what condition I was in.

Caspian and I went down to breakfast together. I was ravenous, and couldn't wait for some eggs and toast. But as soon as we got to the kitchen and I smelled the cooking, I was suddenly nauseated. I stopped, taking breaths to try and settle my stomach, but it was no use.

I became certain I was going to be sick and rushed to find an empty pot. I was violently sick, emptying my stomach of what I'd had for dinner the night before.

"Rose! Rose, are you all right?" Caspian exclaimed, kneeling beside me, his hands on my shoulders.

I nodded, feeling horribly embarrassed, my mouth tasting bitterly.

"Yes, I-I'm fine, it's nothing. I just felt a bit queasy. I'll be all right in a moment," I answered hurriedly, wanting to dismiss it.

Several of the kitchen girls had come to see what was going on, and they all stood around, murmuring worriedly.

I stayed in my position over the pot until I was sure my stomach was settled, and then stood. I brushed my hair back from my face, and took a breath.

"Are you sure you're okay, Rose?" Caspian asked, his hands still resting on my shoulders.

"Yes, I feel better now. Will one of you fetch me some tea, please?" I asked the girls.

They quickly rushed off to get a china cup and pour some refreshing peppermint tea which I drank greedily, settling my stomach completely.

But even though my illness passed that morning, it came back the next, and then the next after that. Sometimes it was only nausea, other times it was prolonged vomiting and headaches, and the time of day varied from early morning to noon. Caspian became worried.

"Rose, I think that we should call for a physician. I'm worried about you, and this has gone on long enough," he told me one morning two weeks later as I was once again hunched over a chamber pot on the floor, his arms around me.

"No! I'm fine!" I protested, but to no use.

He shook his head, worry and concern in his dark eyes.

"I'll summon one from the nearest village. You stay in bed, and I'll be back soon."

He left me, and I sat in a heap on the floor, palms pressed to my eyes. As I waited for the nausea to pass, I thought about my situation.

I wasn't sure why I was hiding my pregnancy from Caspian anymore. We were married, going on three months now, meaning I was almost four months along. I guess I was still afraid he would find out it wasn't his child. But soon I wouldn't be able to hide it anymore.


	7. Chapter 7

**This is so short it probably shouldn't be a chapter unto itself, but… it is. **

**Enjoy and review **

**Chapter Seven**

Caspian returned that evening, having ridden to the nearest town inhabited by a doctor to summon him. They entered the chamber, Caspian pulling off his rain soaked cloak and draping it across a chair. The doctor stepped in after him.

He was middle-aged, maybe about forty-five, his formerly black hair thinning and graying. He had a short beard and frown lines. He was the typical Telmarine man.

"My most gracious Queen Rosaline," he said as a way of greeting, bowing slightly.

I dipped my head in acknowledgement, waiting nervously in my plain green dress, my hands laced together in front of my growing belly.

Caspian came over, dripping a bit of rainwater on me as he gave me a reassuring hug. He nodded to the doctor, who placed his bag on the table near the crackling fire.

"If you would please lie down on the chaise please, Your Highness," the doctor asked as he took out his instruments.

I did as he told me, and Caspian stood by the fire, his brow knit in concern. Dr. Rishka, as I learned his name to be, came over and took my pulse, looked in my eyes, ears, and mouth. He tested my reflexes and felt my joints.

"Could you describe your symptoms to me, Your Grace?" he asked as he put away his things.

I hesitated, and then said, "I've been sick nearly every morning, but then feel fine later."

He nodded. "Have experienced any weariness or faintness?" I nodded, noticing he never really looked directly at me when speaking. I wasn't sure if this was because of my status, or because I was a woman. Telmarines didn't approve of strong-willed women, of which I was one, and it was taking them some time to get used to me.

He next inquired, not looking at me at all as he busied himself rifling through his bag, "And…your monthly illness?"

I felt my face flush at this personal question, and I looked down at my feet. "I-I haven't…I haven't had it for awhile," I muttered. How embarrassing to have to talk about this with a man!

Dr. Rishka nodded and took of his spectacles, turning to Caspian. "Well, thank Aslan that your wife, and our queen, is well. Her condition, if you will, is probably one to be celebrated."

Caspian was still looking confused, and I chewed my nails, waiting for the bomb to be dropped. What would he think?

"And what is her condition, sir?" Caspian goaded, frowning.

Dr. Rishka began to gather his things, but paused to answer. "Your wife will, in a matter of months, possibly provide you with an heir. She is in a family way."

That night, as we lay in bed together, Caspian pulled back the covers to reveal my body.

"What are you doing?" I asked him sleepily, wanting to tug the blankets back up over me to keep warm. But he was silent until he succeeded in pulling the sheets down all the way, baring my stomach. Then he stopped, his eyes resting on my slight bump.

I watched him as he slowly stroked my stomach, a small smile tugging up the corners of his mouth. He placed a kiss where the small raise was, before pulling the covers back up over me and saying, "I love you," and falling asleep.

I felt my heart give a small flutter right before my guilt set back in.


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry it's been so long, I've been on vacation because it's spring break and I couldn't bring my computer.**

**I also apologize for any mistakes I've made in describing Rose's pregnancy. I've never been pregnant, nor do I want to be until I'm at least thirty and married, so I had to rely on internet research. **

**Please review and I hope you enjoy it!**

**Chapter Eight**

The next five months passed peacefully, if a little uncomfortable. My belly grew rounder and protruded more, and I could no longer fit into most of my dresses, so I had to constantly have new ones fitted for my changing body. My morning sickness continued, but Caspian was put at ease by the new physician we hired to live at the castle, who told him that it was normal.

The sickness finally stopped when I was about five months along, which was a great relief. But I was also easily tired, and going up and down the many stairs of the castle left me winded and my heart pounding.

One night, Caspian and I were in our chamber, sitting by the fire and reading and answering letters. I got up to go use the chamber pot in the bathroom, as I had to do frequently. When I was done, I picked up the ceramic pitcher of water to wash my hands, but before I could pour any, I dropped it on the marble floor where it shattered loudly upon impact, sending water and shards of clay across the ground.

Caspian was next to me in an instant, where I stood, my mouth open, my hands resting on my belly as I leaned against the wall.

"Rose, what's wrong? Should I fetch the doctor?" he asked, fear and worry plain in his voice. I only shook my head wordlessly, my brow beginning to furrow as I waited.

Ah! There it was again! That tiny flutter within my body, like butterfly wings. My face broke into a smile.

Caspian looked at me in confusion. "Rose? Rose, what is it?" he asked urgently as tears began to run down my cheeks.

I took his hand and placed it on top of the round form of my belly and waited. When it came again, a tiny little nudge, I saw his face break into an expression of wonder and joy. He looked back up at me, his dark eyes glittering with tears, as we both stood, waiting again for that amazing little bump, proof that there was a life growing inside of me.

Although it seemed like it should be impossible, I continued to grow. And grow. And grow larger still. My back ached; I had strange cravings, mood swings, and slept a lot. Although, being so large and cumbersome, it was hard to get comfortable enough to sleep.

Sometimes Caspian would talk to my belly, murmuring quietly about ponies and hunting and Narnian lore. When he did so, it would make my heart squeeze in guilt and misery. I didn't deserve him, not when I was betraying him so.

I didn't deserve him; I repeated it to myself over and over. And it was horrible for me to continue to let him think it was his child. But the lie had gone on too long now, and it would cause him so much more pain to know.

The ninth month finally came, and I was huge. Or at least felt like it. The maids assured me that I was very small compared to some women they had seen, but I still did not believe it.

I had deep bruise-like circles under my eyes from the lack of sleep, although I tried to nap almost constantly. I still tried to make it down to the stables to see Anduril at least once a week, but getting all the way back up the stairs left me breathless and exhausted afterwards, so mostly I stayed in my chamber, knitting little baby clothes and blankets and reading books and doing other domestic things that nearly drove me mad with boredom.

And of course I thought of Edmund, although the passing of nearly a year had numbed the pain of our separation to a dull ache. I thought sadly of what he would have wanted to name his son or daughter, and what kind of father he would have been. Would he talk to my belly like Caspian? Would he cry when it was born and he cradled it in his arms for the first time? Unfortunately, these were questions that I could never answer.

I woke in the middle of the night, wide awake immediately. An intense flash of pain coursed through my body, and I sucked in a breath.

"Caspian," I woke him in a shaky voice. "I—I think it's time," I told him and winced as another contraction hit me, this one less severe.

He was immediately up and throwing on clothes, calling for the midwife and doctor and for a room to be prepared. I changed out of my nightgown, which had grown uncomfortable since my water had broken, and dressed slowly, stopping every now and then to wait for a contraction to pass.

Several maids prepared a room down the hall from our chamber where I would give birth. They cleaned it a last time and made sure that the midwife would have everything she needed.

I spent the next hour growing more and more uncomfortable and more and more nervous. My contractions grew more intense and closer together, and I became anxious about what was to come.


	9. Chapter 9

**I couldn't really wait to put this chapter up, so here it is! **

**Again, I apologize if some of the stuff about childbirth isn't right, because I wouldn't really know… SO yeah. **

**I hope you all like it! And don't forget reviews!**

**Chapter Nine**

I don't remember much of my labor. I remember that there was pain, much more pain than I had ever experienced before, even being wounded in battle. I remember sweating, and the midwife encouraging me, and screams emitting from my throat until it was sore. Caspian was outside, only listening nervously, the midwife not allowing him in the room with me.

They told me something was wrong.

My baby wasn't turned the right way, wanted to be born wrong, got stuck. But it was terribly painful and there was a good possibility that one or both of us could die if the midwife couldn't get it out. My strength was already failing rapidly.

As a last resort, she ordered the doctor to come. They gave me strong wine, nearly pure alcohol, to drink to numb the pain, and then told me that they were going to have to open me up.

Right before I blacked out, I thought back to England, and how doctors there could sedate you, or numb the pain in one area so that you couldn't feel anything. Oh, how I wished they could do that in Narnia.

After that, I don't remember anything. I was unconscious for the rest of the ordeal, floating through a dream world made up of a kaleidoscope of colors bursting behind my eyelids and distant voices, and the wail of a baby.

Slowly the room swam before my eyes, and I struggled to see clearly.

"What is it?" I rasped, trying to cling to consciousness for a few more moments.

The midwife held it up as she wiped away the blood and other nastiness and said with a beaming smile, "A boy. Our king has an heir!"

I smiled and laid back on the pillow at last, finally letting darkness overtake me.

I stayed unconscious for what felt like forever. I had vivid dreams, but as hard as I tried, I couldn't remember them.

I finally woke three days after the birth of my son. I opened my eyes, my lids feeling like they were glued shut. When I had focused, I looked around the room and saw Caspian asleep in a chair right next to my bed, and a baby cradle next to him. He looked pale and deep circles under his eyes showed his exhaustion.

"Caspian," I croaked, my throat dry and sore.

His eyes flew open and he sat up in surprise. Then he registered the fact that I was awake, and relief and happiness washed over his features.

"Rose," he breathed, leaning over to kiss me. "You are awake," he said, a weak smile on his face.

"Let me see him," I said, struggling to a sitting position.

As I propped myself up, my abdominal muscles tightened, sending a stab of pain through my lower belly. I gasped, and Caspian was standing up in a flash, fear in his dark eyes.

He helped me sit up, and then reached down into the cradle. He lifted my sleeping son, wrapped in a soft cotton blanket, and laid him in my arms.

I began to cry as I held him, the tiny, warm little bundle squirming as he began to wake up. He had a little whisp of dark fluff on the top of his head, soft as down. When he woke, I saw that his eyes were a light, chocolate brown. Just like Edmund's.

After a few moments of silence in which we both just sat in silence, taking in the beauty of this tiny bundle of life, Caspian spoke.

"They said you were both lucky, considering…how hard it was. They—they almost lost both of you, and I was—I was afraid…" I looked up at him and saw he was clenching his jaw and blinking.

What had it been like for my husband, sitting by my bedside for days, not knowing if I would ever wake? The familiar guilt seeped into my chest, but I pushed it away.

Caspian cleared his throat and blinked away the tears, his voice steady again.

"What…what do you wish to name him?" he asked, smiling at me softly.

This was something I had thought long and hard about. Should I choose an English name? Or a name to honor his true father? But no, neither of those would do. He was to be the future king of Narnia, so I had picked a good, strong Narnian name.

"Rilian. His name is Rilian."

Caspian and I had a little while longer to ourselves before the midwife and doctor were called back to examine me. Caspian was shooed from the room.

Once the doctor had declared me fit, he exited the room, leaving me behind with the midwife. She sat down on the edge of the bed, her formally cheerful face now grave.

"What is it?" I asked, fear beginning to gnaw at me again. "What's wrong with me?"

"Oh, nothing's wrong with you dear, you're going to be fine!" she said fervently. "It's just… the way that your son was delivered, well, you won't be able to bear anymore children, I'm afraid."

Oh. So that was it. I was silent for a moment, trying to think about what this meant to me. Obviously, the midwife saw this as a tragedy, but…after the pain of birthing Rilian, I didn't think that that was something I would ever want to go through again.

"Thank you for telling me," I said quietly, nodding to her.

She curtsied and left the room, finally allowing Caspian to come back in.

We sat again on my bed with my beautiful baby in sleeping in my arms, marveling at the wonder that he was.


	10. Chapter 10

**This chapter was almost impossible to write. I don't know, I guess I just didn't know where to go from there.**

**Anyways, I'm still not happy with it, but you guys have waited long enough and hopefully the next one will be better.**

**Chapter Ten**

"Rilian! Where have you run off to, you silly boy?" I called out, peeking under various bushes, shrubs, and flowers in the garden of Cair Paravel.

I heard a giggle somewhere to my left and looked up smiling.

"Where could he have gone to?" I said in a mock-confused voice as I pretended to look around the base of a stone fountain of a faun dancing and playing the flute. "Rilian!"

Another giggle. I spun around suddenly, my skirts swishing around my legs, and caught sight of him toddling away through a low maze of rosebushes in the center of the garden.

"I've got you now!" I called, jogging after him. He squealed as I caught up to him and swept him up, his baby face red from running around, his mouth forming a wide grin and showing off his two new bottom teeth. His dark curls were in disarray and I picked out pieces of leaves and twigs.

"You've gotten all dirty, you silly boy! You're going to need a bath now," I pretended to scold as I carried him back inside the castle, calling to a maid to run some bath water for the boy.

He continued to laugh and make other baby noises as I took him up to his nursery and set him in his bath. As he squirmed and splashed in the sudsy water, I let my mind wander, and wondered at how quickly this had become routine.

In the weeks that followed my son's birth, I learned just how hard it was to be a mother. Rilian seemed to always be hungry, and once I was awake, I had to nurse him myself instead of having a wet nurse from a nearby village to do it, as she had when I'd been unconscious.

He woke us at all hours of the night, wailing at the top of his small lungs, for any reason. A dirty diaper, hunger, or for no apparent reason at all. His tiny face would scrunch up and turn red as he cried until I took him in my arms and nursed him or changed his diaper or rocked him back to sleep.

When he was a month old and it became clear that he was healthy and would most likely live, we had a large celebration in the Great Hall and had him christened. After the ceremony, many of the Narnian nobles and other people of importance from the nearby countries came one by one and presented gifts to the little prince. He slept through most of it, despite the much kissing of the forehead and cooing that came with the gifts.

When the last present had been bestowed, we carry him out to the same balcony overlooking the courtyard as we had to announce our engagement. There we held him up for the Narnians to see, the deep-lunged announcer presenting him.

"Prince Rilian, future king of Narnia!"

Many people wondered at the name, but Caspian had decided that ten kings of his name were enough.

The next few months flew by. First, he was barely able to lift his head and did nothing but cry and sleep, but before we knew it, he was grabbing necklaces from my neck, shaking his tiny fists, and attempting to left his head and move around on his tummy. He began to smile at me and Caspian and other people he trusted, like Trumpkin and Trufflehunter and Dr. Cornelius and his plump nurse, Marie.

When he was old enough to have an interest in such things, I would lay out a blanket on the ground with several of his toys, and entice him to play. He would grab hold of a toy and shake it around, laughing and grinning at me all the while as he lay on his stomach.

As I watched him, my heart would swell with love. It seemed impossible that I could feel so much for such a tiny, helpless thing. I never thought it would be possible, but I loved Rilian more than I ever could love Edmund, or anyone else. He was second only, although nearly equal, to Aslan.

Indeed I spent so much time with the child that I believe Caspian grew to be a little jealous. But he spoiled his son just as much as I did, and also loved to sit on the blanket and dangle shiny things in front of him.

We began to feed him solid food, and he would make a mess of the mush, turning his face from the spoon or spitting it out all over himself.

When he began to crawl, we couldn't look away for even a moment or he'd be racing away and getting into something that he shouldn't. And before we knew it, he was pulling himself up into a standing position and could walk around by holding on to our fingers.

Rilian grew at a rapid rate, and soon he was babbling words like, "Mamamam," "Dadadadadada," and "Andyyyy." My unicorn was delighted by the child, and every time I took my son to the stable he would neigh excitedly and prick up his ears. He was always gentle and patient with the child, even when Rilian tugged on his nose and ears. Rilian would squeal and wave his fists around joyfully every time Andy blew hot air into his wisp of dark hair.

Before we knew it, a year had passed and Rilian's first birthday party was upon us, I reflected as I wrapped him in a towel after he was sufficiently clean. He squirmed and made noises until I released him, freshly clothed in a new diaper and soft baby clothes. He pattered off across the room and plopped down with some of his toys, waving them around in his balled up fists.

I smiled to myself as I watched my son, wishing that his father could do the same.


	11. Chapter 11

**As many of you probably know, the last few weeks of school are insanely busy with exams, homework, last minute projects, etc. So I'm really sorry I haven't had the time to write or even think about BTLM for a few weeks. It's probably going to be another week or two until I update again, so I apologize in advance for the wait. But for now, here's another chapter. :D I hope you enjoy it, and thanks for sticking around to see what happens next. I promise that no matter how long it takes, I WILL finish this story!**

**Chapter Eleven**

Rilian's first birthday party was quite a celebration. The monarchs from the neighboring countries and other nobles visited Cair Paravel to see the prince of Narnia. On the night of his birthday, September 21, we had a feast with some of the nobility in the Great Hall. Rilian sat in his highchair, mashing his birthday cake into one big mess before eating it.

One by one, our guests stood to make toasts to the prince, wishing him good health, long life, and a peaceful reign. When the last one had finally taken his seat again, Caspian raised his newly refilled wine-glass to me and said simply, "To our son."

It was as if a knife of ice had pierced my body, and I faltered for a moment. I forced my lips to form a smile and tapped my glass to his before sipping my own wine. I couldn't meet his eyes. _Our son, our son, our son…_ The words echoed in my head long after they were uttered. I had to tell him. I swallowed, but told myself that I would tell Caspian the truth after we went to bed.

Once the party had ended, Caspian and I bid everyone farewell and goodnight before making our way upstairs. Rilian was already asleep in my arms, his long dark lashes resting lightly on his cheeks.

I carefully put him in his crib so as not to wake him, placing a kiss upon his forehead and covering him lightly with a blanket.

I did not dress for bed myself. Instead, I waited in my evening dress for Caspian to come to bed, my heart pounding and restless as I prepared myself to tell him Rilian was not his son.

When he finally emerged from his dressing room ready for some sleep, I stood.

"Rose? Why aren't you undressed yet?" he asked, but in a careless way, not knowing anything was wrong.

I took a breath. "Caspian, I—I have to tell you something."

Caspian was preoccupied with going about the room, putting out the lamps. "Yes?" he asked, unworried.

I closed my eyes. "It's… it's about Rilian." _Come Rose, just say it. Quit dragging it out._

Caspian turned to me now, his attention finally fully focused on me. "Is he all right?" He looked mildly concerned. "He didn't seem to be coming down with something at dinner, did he?"

"No, no, nothing like that. He's… Rilian's fine."

He looked relieved. "Good. Then what did you want to tell me?"

"I—He's… Well, I—" I stammered, opening and closing my mouth and trying to get the words out. But I couldn't. What would he think of me? Passing Rilian off as his son, when he was Edmund's. And how would that affect Rilian's future? How would Caspian treat Rilian after that?

I could only stand there, mouth trying to form a sentence, looking from my husband to my baby sleeping peacefully in his cradle. Caspian slowly took a few steps closer, something unreadable forming behind his eyes.

"Rose…" he said softly, taking my hands gently.

I could no longer meet his eyes; my gaze dropped to the floor.

"Rose, what is it? What is wrong?" he asked again, slightly more insistently. I looked up at him again, meeting his gaze unwillingly. His almost-black eyes were staring at me intently, searchingly.

I blinked a few times, and then said, "I'm... I'm afraid Rilian will be lonely." The lie came so much more easily than the truth. My voice was smoother and strong, and the words slipped from my tongue unwaveringly.

Caspian seemed to notice the subtle changes; he blinked suddenly, and lowered our hands. His dark eyes searched my face intently for a few more seconds, and then they changed, became flat and distant and, if I wasn't imagining it, cooler. He dropped my hands and took a step away from me, looking towards Rilian.

"Oh." He looked into the cradle at the sleeping boy and said, "He won't be lonely, Rose. He will have you, and _me_, and other children of the castle to play with, and if that's not enough, he will have all the ponies and dogs he shall ever want. And hawks and falcons to go hunting with, and all the toys in the world if he wants them, and he shall have everything he needs..." Caspian's voice took on a softer tone as he went on, looking down at Rilian's sleeping form.

I continued to stand still, watching them, frozen into place. I was afraid to make a move.

Caspian looked back up at me suddenly and smiled, though it didn't quite reach his eyes, which looked almost _sad_. "Don't worry, Rose. He shall be happy, _no matter what."_ Caspian smiled again, fleetingly, and then said, "And now it's very late, and I think we should get some rest."

He made his way to his side of the huge bed and got in, blowing out his lamp as he did so. After a moment, I took mine and went to my closet to undress, and then climbed into bed beside him.

I lay still on my back, holding my breath. Caspian's back was to me, and his breaths came even and slow; he was already asleep. I waited stiffly for a little while longer, and then with a quiet sigh, turned over on my side, my back to him as well.

Though I tried, I could not fall asleep right away, tired though I was. I could only silently hate myself for this awful secret I couldn't tell, and for the lies that surrounded me. Why was it so hard for me to tell Caspian the truth? But I knew that answer already, and it was useless to keep on thinking about that.

Also, I reflected on Caspian's behavior. He had seemed... _off_ after I had nearly told him the truth. He had seemed to distance himself from me, instead focusing on Rilian. Perhaps he suspected that I was hiding something from him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Finally, here is the next chapter! More to follow soon, I hope. Please review!**

**Chapter Twelve**

Caspian continued to seem rather off for some time after that night. I often caught him gazing at Rilian for prolonged periods, his brow furrowed and his mind wandering. He seemed distant to me, but completely normal to everyone else he interacted with, including Rilian.

Meanwhile, life continued in Narnia. My son continued to grow, and it seemed each day he could do something new. He could get around quite easily, and I had a hard time keeping up with him as he ran around the castle and the gardens. I took him to the stables with me quite frequently, and Anduril was always overjoyed to see him. He would lower his head to Rilian's level and whuffle in his hair, and the boy would grab Andy's mane and yank on it. But the unicorn never seemed to mind. Sometimes I would even sit Rilian upon Andy's broad back for a few moments, keeping a hand on him to steady him. My son would squeal and laugh and beat his fists on Andy's withers, and Andy would crane his head around to look at him, but he never complained.

Though it wasn't often, I sometimes longed for the time before Rilian had been born, and I could do whatever I wanted. I could ride out with the men to battle, or to drive out the giants in the north, or hunt a few of the remaining witches, hags, and werewolves that still lurked along the western borders, in the wilder lands.

I missed the adventure and the danger, and longed to journey to a distant land again. Caspian often sailed to Calormen or the Islands upon the _Dawn Treader, _but I had not been at sea since our voyage to the World's End.

I was jealous.

Perhaps that was why I was so pleased to hear about the strange happenings in very far north. As Caspian and I sat on our thrones in the Great Hall one Sunday, listening to the people requesting this and that, and reporting this happening, a mixed group of a man, woman, and Animals came to the front of the line.

"And what is it that brings you to request an audience with your sovereigns?" asked Caspian in the same tone as he had used to repeat the formal words to each and every citizen.

They bowed, and then the man spoke. "Your Majesties, we wish to report to you that we believe something strange is afoot," he said.

"And what leads to believe this?" I asked kindly.

The man exchanged glances with the woman who I guessed was his wife, and then she said, "Well, it's just been little things, odd things."

Caspian was growing a tad impatient. We still had many more to hear. "Like what?" he asked.

Exasperated with the humans, one of the Animals, a Mink, stepped forward and said, "Like several friends disappearing for weeks and then turning back up without any idea how long they've been gone or where they've been. Like birds, in some kind of daze, flying straight into trees or buildings. Dwarfs, saying that the earth just doesn't feel right. Odd things like that."

I glanced at Caspian, who was frowning slightly. "Well... what do you wish to be done?" I asked.

They all shrugged. "We don't know. We just figured it'd be a good thing to let you know about, and you decide if there's anything to be done." said the man.

Caspian's frown lifted. He smiled and nodded and said, "Well, we thank you, loyal friends, for informing us. If anything further occurs, please do not hesitate to report it." He bowed his head to them and they bowed to him, and then scurried off.

I watched them go, slightly intrigued by their story. I briefly wondered if there was any truth to it, but quickly forgot them when the next in line bowed and greeted us.

Time continued to pass by, some days seemingly at a crawl, others as if it had wings. Rilian grew bigger, and had more birthdays; a second, a third, a fourth. When he turned five, he got his first hound. He and the speckled pup with floppy ears became inseparable and often romped together in the gardens.

I watched my son grow with content, but underneath, I was restless. I didn't take Andy out for rides nearly as often as I once did, and my fighting skills had grown rusty from disuse. I tried to spar occasionally with Caspian or another soldier, but was often busy with Rilian. I longed for something to do, other than be a diplomat and run the castle. I longed to shed my skirts and dress regularly in men's clothes again. I longed for companionship.

I had plenty of friends, yes. But many of them were just servants of the castle, or foreign rulers, or silly women of the nobility. None of them understood me and my longing for adventures like Lucy, Susan, Peter, or Edmund. I missed them so much sometimes it felt like I couldn't even stand up straight from the ache.

**A/N: Are you guys ok with me making time pass so quickly, or do you want more about Rilian growing up? Because I feel like I should have more about him, but I do want to get on with the story and not let it get boring, so...**


	13. Chapter 13

**Well, I'm back from my vacation! San Diego was awesome, LA was cool to see all that famous stuff, Vegas was... Vegas, Zion was gorgeous, and the Grand Canyon was spectacular!**

**Here's the next chapter, slightly delayed by my jet lag and the unfortunate occurrence of a thunderstorm and power outage. :D**

**Chapter Thirteen**

"We thank you, loyal friend of Narnia, for informing us of the deaths of your sheep. I assure you a hunting party will be sent out to find and slay the beast responsible," Caspian said to the group of farmers before us as they bowed deeply and turned to leave the Great Hall.

I looked at Caspian before the next citizens approached, hoping he would see the fierce longing for adventure in my expression. He glanced at me and raised his eyebrows. _What? _the gesture asked.

I gave him another look that said, _I want to lead the hunting party!_

He smiled and gave me a _We'll see _look.

I was about to reply with another telepathic response, but was interrupted by the arrival of a Dwarf and his companion. They looked weary and had the worn look of travelers.

"Majesties," they addressed us, bowing low.

"Citizens of Narnia," we addressed them, nodding.

"What brings you to Cair Paravel? You appear to have traveled a great distance," I observed.

"Indeed, my Queen," one of them, a Black Dwarf, said gruffly. His companion nodded his agreement.

"We come from the far northern border of the country. We traveled here to report to you about the earth."

I shared a glance with my husband, both of us raising eyebrows. He addressed them.

"About the... earth?" he asked.

"Aye sir," the Red Dwarf said through his bushy beard. He reminded me of Trumpkin, who was a constant fixture at the Cair. "The earth."

"Ye see, we being Dwarfs, we are... _attuned, _ye could say, to everything about the earth. Rocks, soil, and the like, it all has a certain feel to it that's unique to whatever the location." He saw mine and Caspian's blank looks. "Well, I guess ye'd have to be a Dwarf to properly understand," he shrugged.

The Black Dwarf gave him a look, and then took up where he left off. "Anyways, the earth, it don't feel right in our parts. It's unsettled like. Just a hint of it, but it feels... it feels sort of sinister like." The Dwarf cut his speech short; he seemed discomfited.

Caspian was thoughtfully quiet, and I was suddenly remembering the farmer and his wife and the group of Animals that had complained of strange happenings several years ago. They too had been from the farthest northern borders.

Finally, Caspian spoke. "My friends, I thank you for reporting this, and I will take it into account and remember what you have told us. However, I'm afraid that I cannot, at this point, send any troops that far North as there is nothing there for them to confront."

The Dwarfs nodded. "Aye, Your Majesty, we understand."

Caspian gave them a half smile. "You are good, loyal subjects of Narnia, and I thank you wholly for bringing us this news. Please, if anything else occurs, do not hesitate to contact us by the quickest means possible."

That evening, as we readied for bed and tucked Rilian in down the hall in his room, I spoke with Caspian.

"I don't see what would be wrong with me leading the hunting party for those wolves!" I said, frustrated he was being so stubborn.

"You have responsibilities here at Cair Paravel," he answered reasonably.

"The hunt would not take more than a few days at the most. What responsibilities could I have that would be so pressing that I couldn't leave for that long?"

"Your son, I should think."

I glared at him, crossing my arms. "Rilian is ten years old; he would be fine without me for a few days. And he has you and Trumpkin and Cornelius and everyone else at the castle! Don't try to twist this around to me being irresponsible with my son!"

Caspian stayed infuriatingly calm and cool. He had almost always been like this, throughout any arguments we had had. It drove me mad. "That was not what I was implying. I do not think that you are irresponsible with Rilian at all."

I huffed. "Then why wouldn't it be acceptable?"

He frowned, as if annoyed that I wasn't seeing something. "Because it would be dangerous! What if something were to happen to you?"

I sighed. "Caspian, I... you seem to have forgotten who I am, who I have been. I've been locked up in this castle for too long. I miss... I miss having adventures, going off to battles, exploring new lands. A wolf hunt won't be anything like that really, but at least I would have something to do, something that would make me feel like that again."

He studied me, his dark eyes flicking over my face. He looked almost sad, maybe even... regretful. But then, I had never been able to read Caspian very well.

He sighed and gave me a small smile. "Very well, Rose. You may lead the hunting party. But please don't do anything stupid or dangerous just for sentimentality's sake."

I jumped up and grinned, and gave him a kiss. "Thank you Caspian! And I promise to be careful," I teased him.

Later that night, as we lay in bed, I asked him, "What do you make of what those Dwarfs said. About the earth feeling sinister?"

"I'm not sure what to make of it. But they reminded me of what that group from a few years ago had said, about strange feelings and occurrences up North."

I nodded. "Yes, I thought of that too. I just wish we had more of _something _than how the earth feels. I don't like concealed or intangible adversaries. I'd rather there be an army to face, or something that at least I can _fight."_

Caspian nodded in agreement. "Yes, I feel the same. As of right now, I can't really _do _anything about it, because I don't know if there really is a problem." We both sighed.


	14. Chapter 14

**This chapter's pretty boring, so sorry. But I've got to set things up for the plot to progress, so here it is.**

**Please review guys! I read every one of them!**

**Chapter Fourteen**

"Be good for everyone while I'm gone, Rilian," I told my son as I hugged him goodbye.

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, Mum," he replied.

At ten years old, he was already turning into quite the explorer and adventurer. He and his friends, who were some of the sons of the nobility, would take their ponies riding in the nearby forests almost daily, competing to see who was the bravest, whose pony could jump the highest or run the fastest. I was a little worried about him getting into trouble while I was leading the hunt.

Caspian stepped up to me to give me a goodbye kiss. "Be careful," he warned quietly. "Don't do anything stupid or dangerous."

I gave him a smile. "Don't worry, Caspian. It's only a hunt; you go on them all the time!"

"I still don't see why _I _can't come along too," Rilian pouted.

"Oh, you'll be able to soon enough," I said with a smile.

When our goodbyes were finished, I checked my bags once more and then mounted Anduril, who pranced in place from his excitement. He was just as excited as I was because he, too, had not been on any adventures in several years.

We set out, a party of twelve, armed with our bows, quivers of scarlet-fletched arrows, daggers, and our swords. We were headed northwest towards the castle of Miraz, where the largest Telmarine city was. It was on the outskirts of that town that the farms had been raided by wolves.

We followed the Great River, and camped on her banks each night, snug in our bedrolls. As I lay in mine, looking up at the familiar constellations of Narnia, I could not help but be reminded of so many nights. Nights that I had camped with the Pevensies, and lay talking with Lucy and Susan long after the moon had made its arc across the sky. The night I had lain on the beach in the Lone Islands, staring into my fire and wondering if I should return home and make things right with Edmund, or find myself a new life in the Islands. The night I had finally confessed myself to Edmund, outside the How, in the midst of war. I quickly swiped away a tear that had snuck its way out of the corner of my eye, and rolled over to go to sleep.

We finally reached the forest outside the Telmarine town where we had heard the wolf pack had last been sighted. We entered the trees and I gave the signal to halt.

"Loose the hounds," I said to the hounds-master. He dismounted and slipped the collars off of the necks of six brown and white hounds. At once they were off into the trees, their long, thin tails waving around and noses to the ground as their floppy ears swept scents toward them.

We followed behind them at a walk, until we had made our way deeper into the trees. Then at once, off to my left, a hound gave a loud bay, and took off.

The others quickly took up the call until we were surrounded in the echoing chorus of baying dogs. Our party spurred their horses into a canter, and we followed them, fanning out through the thick trees.

Anduril galloped through the trees, his nostrils flared and neck arched in excitement. Both of our hearts were pounding in excitement as the wind we created whipped past, tossing my hair around and sending his long white mane flying back to tickle my face as I leaned forward over his neck.

The voices of the dogs reached a crescendo as we neared a small clearing to find that they had found a wolf and had trapped it against a boulder. It was snapping at them, keeping them at a distance. I shivered, remembering blood-stained snow. As Andy pulled up to a halt in the clearing, I drew my bow, recognizing the beast from the descriptions of the farmers. I let the arrow fly.

By the end of the week, the wolves had been slain, and their pelts presented to the farmers who had lost livestock. They thanked us sincerely, and we made our way home.

No one had been hurt or lost on the hunt, and I thanked Aslan for keeping us safe. We had lost only one hound to the alpha wolf of the pack, as he had fought back fiercely.

But now I had to go home. Back to Cair Paravel, where I would again spend my time watching Rilian and overseeing the castle, and spending long Sundays listening to the complaints and wishes of the Narnians. I would go back to wearing long skirts and dresses instead of the tunic and leggings and boots I'd worn the entire hunt.

As I put Anduril in the stable when we got home, Caspian and Rilian came out to welcome me home. Rilian gave me a hug around my waist, as that was all he could reach. Then Caspian gave me a kiss, while Rilian complained that it was gross, and he said, "I'm glad that you managed to stay out of trouble."

I gave him a smile. "Don't I always?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~That night Caspian and I had another discussion. He agreed to let me go on more excursions as long as I kept safe and let the others fight for me, if it ever came to that.

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked, a little concerned why he was mentioning fighting.

He ran his fingers through his hair. "We got another report of... _strangeness _in the North while you were gone. I've decided I need to... to send a party up there, I guess to see for myself what could be happening."

I tried to contain my sudden excitement. "You mean... You mean you'd let me go?"

He saw the expression on my face and gave a small smile. "_Only _if you agree to my terms and conditions."

"Yes! Yes, I agree to your terms." I gave him a wide smile.

He paused for a moment, looking thoughtful as he rubbed his chin. I knew he was pretending so I gave him a look.

"All right," he said, drawing it out.

I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him. Finally, I would have something to do _outside _the castle!


	15. Chapter 15

**Sorry for the wait. Hope everyone's having a good summer **

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**Chapter Fifteen**

About a month after our agreement, I led our first party to investigate in the North. The reports had come from Dwarfs and farmers who lived on the very edge of Narnia's northern border, in the colder hills fringing Ettinsmoor.

It was a small party, not even as big as the one I had led on the hunt. But since there wasn't anything really to confront as of yet, it would be all we needed, and we armed and prepared anyway. I rode at the front, seated upon Anduril, trotting through the trees and fields of Narnia. The crisp autumn air kept us feeling energetic, and the bright leaves of the trees fluttered softly in the light breeze.

After two days journey north, we passed west of the marshes, which were the home of the strange people called Marsh-wiggles. Marsh-wiggles had not inhabited Narnia in the Golden Age. They had emigrated here from the wild, unexplored lands west of Narnia, across the high, snow-capped mountains that formed the western border of Narnia, sometime a little before the Telmarines invaded.

However, the Marsh-wiggles were not far enough north to have been bothered by the strange things we had heard of. The farmers and Dwarfs who had come to us had been some of the few, and brave, inhabitants of southern Ettinsmoor.

We passed a few farms along our journey there, their fields already mostly harvested because of the climate. Only a few stalks of corn and pumpkin patches remained in the now fallow fields. The farther we traveled, the colder it became. I wrapped my cloak tighter around me, cursing the winds that were picking up. I thought of Peter and his numerous crusades against the giants in Ettinsmoor, and wondered how he had stood it in winter.

After three days journey from Cair Paravel, we reached civilization again. The small town was hunkered between the barren, windswept hills of Ettinsmoor. The village had sprung up as a result of the presence of a small mine. The mine had been constructed by order of Miraz in his search for gold and other precious metals or stones. He had heard rumours of Ettinsmoor and the Wild Lands of the North containing riches beyond belief. However, this mine hadn't turned up anything more valuable than quartz and some of the swirly-gray stone that was sometimes used in construction.

However, the people still lived here and managed to farm enough to survive. The Dwarfs, however, had flocked to the mine to continue to work in it because of their love of the underground.

We rode into the village, and I located the largest of the low stone buildings and recognized it as the "town hall". It served as courthouse, post office, meeting hall, jail, and inn. I dismounted in front, and went inside with one of the party accompanying me.

Inside there was a large hall with small windows paned with wavy glass. Rushes were scattered on the floor, and there were benches pushed against the walls. To our immediate left was a counter where people could send and receive mail. Behind it was a fat and rather dirty man, asleep in his chair.

I cleared my throat. "Excuse me, sir?" I said to wake him politely.

He snorted awake with a start, rubbing his eyes to see me more clearly.

"Aye? What d'ye want, milady?" he asked, eyeing my cleanliness and finer clothes.

"Several things, sir. Firstly, I need lodging for eight people, myself included, and their mounts." His eyes bugged out a little at the mention of so many people. This village probably didn't get many visitors.

"Secondly, I will need to be able to feed all of my party, as we haven't had a hot meal in nigh on four days." He began to sputter, but I went on, ignoring him.

"And lastly, I am going to need to speak to the village as a whole to ask some questions, so if you would please gather them here for me to do so, I would be most grateful." And then I stopped to let him speak.

"Who're ye to be bargin' in 'ere demandin' all o' this o' me?" he blustered.

I stared at him coolly and said, "Your queen, sir."

The man, whose name I learned was Bartholomew, ended up being most helpful, if he was still a bit reluctant. We were served a hot meal, given five small rooms to share, and the villagers were gathered that evening.

I addressed them about what we had heard from some of their own, and several people stood to testify with their own accounts of strange doings and feelings. But by the time the meeting was adjourned, I was left feeling just as frustrated as before because of the lack of an obvious enemy or problem. We still only had tales of strange animal behavior and/or the earth feeling 'off'.

In the end, we turned for home without anything of value to report to Caspian. But for me, that meant more excursions, I thought with a small smile.


	16. Chapter 16

**Don't forget to review please! **

**Chapter Sixteen**

**~Edmund~**

When second term finally ended, Lucy and I returned home to see Peter and Susan and our parents. When we told them we'd been back to Narnia for our last time, their responses were very different.

"But Rose?" Peter asked us, frowning.

I looked away, and let Lucy answer softly, "Aslan wanted her to stay in Narnia."

"But why? She had a choice the last time!" Peter objected.

Lucy only shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe Aslan has a plan for her."

Susan had been strangely quiet and hadn't said anything the entire time we told our story. But then she spoke, though we were shocked to hear what she had to say.

"Well, good. That it was your last time, I mean. Now we're done with that place and can finally get on with our lives." She said it matter-of-factly, but looked away from us and swiped at her eyes.

Our mouths hung open. "B-but Susan!" Lucy cried. "You can't mean that!"

Susan set her jaw. "And why not? We need to accept that _this _is where we belong, not in Narnia. _England _is where we will have to live the rest of our lives, so we might as well start to forget about Narnia and everything we had there, because it's not going to make it any easier if we keep dwelling on it!"

And with that she stood abruptly and left the room.

After a long time, Peter asked quietly, "Do you think she's right?"

"No!" Lucy said fiercely. "Aslan brought us to Narnia for a reason, more than just to help. He meant for us to _learn _things there that we couldn't here in our world. And I don't think he would want us to forget about it."

I stared at my lap. Susan's speech had reminded me for the thousandth time, but no less painfully, that I would never see Rose again. We were in two different worlds now, and always would be. We would never get married, buy a house, have children, or grow old together. But I was no closer to accepting that than I had been when I first came back from Narnia.

Peter, Lucy, and I continued to talk about Narnia, saying things like "Remember when..." and "You know that time when..." We were determined not to forget.

But Susan seemed just the opposite. She always interrupted us when we began a story, or changed the subject abruptly, or simply left the room. She spent her time with her clothes and her makeup and her sweethearts.

At nineteen, she was popular and pretty, and had no more time for 'children's tales' of a world which she had loved.

**~Rose~**

I continued my excursions to the northern-most towns and villages and settlements of Narnia to try and find more information about what could be happening. Most of my parties were small, only about five people. They would have been smaller, if not for Caspian's wishes to make sure I would completely safe.

I continued searching for answers over several years. I talked to anyone who had a story or account to tell, and even tried to experience what they did for myself. I journeyed into the earth with the Dwarfs and tried to sense what it was they were telling me, about the earth and rock feeling different. I scrunched my eyes up tight and laid my bare palms against the walls of the tunnels underground, concentrating on _feeling _it.

All I felt was the cool, damp stone against my palms and the steady beating of my heart. As I continued to stand there, straining for something I couldn't understand, my frustration mounted. Finally I sighed and opened my eyes, dropping my hands to my side.

I shook my head. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It's just... rock." I looked to the Dwarfs. "What is it supposed to feel like? What do you feel?"

One Dwarf with a dark, bushy beard answered, "The earth is a living thing. When we touch the stone, we are tuned in to it. Right now, we can sense... disturbances. Our theory is that somewhere, deep within, the earth is in turmoil. What we suspect we feel now is just the ripples of that turmoil, the very edge."

Although I still could not understand the Dwarfs' connections to the earth, what he was saying made a little more sense.

"And... what is causing that turmoil? Is it natural, or something Caspian and I should be worried about?"

The Dwarf sighed. "As to what's causing it, Your Highness, we can only guess. But I think that you and Caspian should not dismiss this."

And so I continued to investigate. But in the meantime, I continued to carry out my duties at Cair Paravel and raise my son.

Rilian, at fifteen, was an adventurous boy. He and his friends raced their horses recklessly through the forests, dueled and practiced their archery, and longed for the chance to prove themselves in battle. Whenever I looked at him, I saw his father. He wore his dark hair long, like Caspian, pulled back into a short ponytail. His eyes, though brown, were the same shade of chocolate as Edmund's, while Caspian's were darker and nearly black. And he, like his father, felt every emotion intensely.

He had a temper, and when he was angry, his mood would turn black and stormy. He could stay mad for weeks, and hold a grudge for a long time. But when he was happy, he could light a whole room with his smile and laughter. And he loved passionately, and when he lost the things he loved, he would be sad and depressed for weeks or more, and nothing could bring him out of gloom. This had been the case with the deaths of his pony and first dog.

I took it upon myself to teach Rilian history and left the other, less pleasant topics (like math) to Dr. Cornelius, Caspian's old tutor. Most days, we sat outside in the courtyard gardens, next to the fountains or among the rosebushes.

"Mum?" he asked me one day.

I was telling him about the Golden Age of Narnia, and the short reign of Ralon the Usurper and his downfall in the Lone Islands. Since I had been the one to bring about the end of his power, I could tell Rilian about it firsthand.

"Yes?" I paused in my tale.

"Why... How... How did you leave Narnia? Where did you go for 1200 years?" he asked, and I realized his mind had been on something else, and that he hadn't been paying attention to the subject at hand.

I hesitated, then said, "You already know that. I went back to England, which was the world that I was born in."

He frowned. "I know, but... why? And how? You can't just walk out of one world and into another."

I looked around the gardens as if they might contain an answer. Rilian knew I had been friends with the Pevensies, because I frequently told him about our many adventures. But he didn't know the details. He only knew the standard story that everyone else heard or learned about.

"I had a dream that Aslan told me to go to the Lamppost. So I did, and he... sent me back to England." I left out that he gave me a choice, though I wasn't even entirely sure why. "Because the Pevensies were the only family I had. And I only spent a year in England, but time passes differently between our worlds, and when Caspian blew Susan's horn, it called us back to Narnia several centuries later."

"Why didn't you go back to England with them? Why did you stay here?"

Where these questions coming from? "I... there was nothing for me in England. Narnia is my home, and it needed me."

Rilian was silent in thought for a few moments. When he spoke again, his words shocked me. "You were in love with one of them, weren't you? King Edmund? I can tell by the way you talk about them," he said quietly, calmly, as if it only interested him academically.

I opened my mouth, but didn't know what to say. Panicked, I struggled to regain my composure. "Yes. But that was... that was a long time ago," I managed to say softly, and then turned the subject back to Lord Ralon.

When Rilian turned sixteen, he began to accompany me on my trips north. He enjoyed these trips as much as I did, because he felt as if he were helping to accomplish something important.

Watching him, I remembered that I had been the same when I was his age. I always wanted an adventure, and wanted to do something important to help my kingdom. Now I was thirty-three, or fifty, depending on if my age was based on my body or how many years I had lived. But even though I had lived fifty years, I still didn't feel as wise as my age.

And it didn't seem like sixteen years since I had last seen Edmund. My love for him had grown no less, though I had tried to push it to the back of my mind. I had grown to love Caspian, but Edmund, no matter how hard I tried to make it otherwise, would always be first in my heart.


	17. Chapter 17

**Thanks for your nice reviews last time! To be honest, I'm sort of dreading them after this chapter :/**

**(FelipeMarcusThomas—Nothing gets by you, does it? :D)**

**Chapter Seventeen**

We rode through the trees, the horses' hooves thumping softly on the leafy ground. Sunlight filtered down through the newly green canopy, warming my skin pleasantly. Birdsong filled the treetops, and was accompanied by the singing of my maying party. As we approached a meadow, I heard the gurgling of a stream, and brought the merry little party to a halt from my position at the front of the group, seated on Anduril's broad back.

"This looks like a lovely place for lunch, don't you think?" I asked Rilian and the others, over the sounds of happy conversation and singing. They agreed and so we dismounted, setting out blankets to sit on, like a picnic.

I sat with my son, spreading my skirts out around me. We made pleasant conversation with the others while eating the meal we had packed for midday and drinking watered wine from our canteens.

I absently fingered the garland of leaves around my head, set upon my red curls. It was wonderful to be about in May, just to be riding in the woods with friends, rather than in the colder hills of Ettinsmoor, trying in vain to discover the root of the growing unease in the earth. For now we could just relax and enjoy the spring weather and sunshine.

When the rest of the party had finished eating, some of the squires who had come along began to play their flutes and sing old Narnian ballads. I sang along softly, smiling at the carefree manner in which they sang, somewhat tipsily.

This carried on for a while, when I felt the wine's effects beginning to set in, and yawned. I lay back on my blanket, staring up the blue, cloudless sky and listening to the music. Before I knew it, I had drifted off to sleep, and the others, not wanting to disturb me, moved downstream a bit to let me sleep. I remember hearing Rilian laughing at a squire's tale just before I fell asleep.

I was awakened by a sharp, sudden pain in my hand, which, in my sleep, I had stretched out under my head and along the ground. I opened my eyes to see a great serpent-like creature staring at me, its fangs descended. It was a deadly, venomous green and was long and shining, with two strange, short legs to drag itself along the ground. But its eyes were what stuck out to me; though the pupils were vertical like any other reptile, they held something deeper, more than just animalistic instinct. As I took all this in the instant I opened my eyes, a burning, tingling sensation began to creep up my arm from my hand.

I glanced down to see two puncture marks in my palm from the serpent's fangs, and screamed. My hand was deathly pale and growing more painful by the second. The serpent began to glide away from me along the ground, disappearing into the undergrowth as Rilian and the others came running.

Rilian crouched by my side. "Mum? What-?" He caught a glance of the poisonous green monster and drew his sword, rushing after it.

By now, the burning, tingling sensation had spread to my shoulder, and I could no longer feel my hand. It was like a fire had been lit in my blood and was spreading throughout my body, steadily consuming me. The group around me was frantic; several had run off into the trees to search for healing plants, and the others were debating whether to cut my wrist and try to bleed the venom from my body.

My faithful companion Anduril pushed through the encircling ring of people and neighed fearfully. His eyes were rimmed in white as he prodded my limp arm with his pearly horn.

"The unicorn! Look, he's saying to use his horn!" one lady cried.

"No!" I protested, trying to shake my head feebly. I wouldn't let him sacrifice his horn for me a second time.

It was growing harder to breathe now. The venom was stealing its way through my body with a burning, fiery course, leaving numbness in its wake. I took another labored breath and called out for Rilian.

He returned to my side, his face red and angry. "It got away, Mother, but I'll find it, I swear it!" he promised fiercely, crouching by my side.

I managed to take one of his hands in mine, and struggled to find the breath to speak to him. "Shh! No, Mother, you're going to be fine! We'll get you to a physic; just try to be still in the meantime!" Rilian told me.

"No! Listen to... listen to me. I love you Rilian, more... more than anything else..." The poison was burning in my chest; I could hardly breathe anymore. My heart continued to beat, but ever so slowly—_thump...thump...thump...thump..._

I was dying, I finally acknowledged in my mind. A sudden panic gripped me, pushing back the pain with sudden adrenaline. I had to tell Rilian, he needed to know...

With a gasp, I said, "Rilian... your father... I..." Sobs from some of the ladies. My sluggish heart. _Thump...thump...thump... _

Blackness began to creep in the edges of my vision and it felt like there was something heavy sitting on my chest, suffocating me. The venom scorched my heart, I felt the heat of Rilian's hand clutching mine, his tears on my skin, mingling with the soft tickle of Anduril's whiskers... _Thump...thump...thump._

And then it seemed as if the pain were fading away, growing less. I no longer felt the poison burning my veins, smothering me, squeezing my heart. I felt light as air, and there was no more hurt.

I rose up, feeling better than I had in a long time. I didn't feel too hot, or too cold... I didn't feel much of anything, actually. Rilian's warm hand, or tears, or Andy's whiskers, or the sun warming my skin...

I looked down on them, gathered around my body. I was lying on that blanket, pale and still, my red hair startlingly contrasted against my white skin. The ladies were clutching handkerchiefs to their faces, muffling sobs, while the squires and lords hid their tears and stood there, looking lost and unsure. My silver unicorn was nudging my cheek gently with his velvety muzzle, emitting pained nickers.

And Rilian, kneeling next to me, tears cascading down his cheeks, holding his mother's limp hand and looking so young and vulnerable and lost.

It was strange, feeling emotion without a body. If I had still inhabited mine while looking down upon that scene, my heart would have clenched in grief for my friends and my son. I wanted to go to hug Rilian, to comfort him, but when I tried, he couldn't feel it. It was only as if a small breeze had come and ruffled his hair.

I watched as they wrapped me gently in my blankets and took me home to Cair Paravel. As the sun set in the west and washed the castle in its golden light, the party presented my body to Caspian. I watched as he stood, emotionless and pale and silent as he took it in.

Then he shouted, "Out! All of you, get out!" and they fled from the hall, all except for Rilian, who stood silently in a corner as he watched Caspian, enraged with grief, throw things about, smashing anything he could pick up against the walls, before he collapsed on the ground next to my body, shaking as he cried.

I watched them bury me, surrounded by May flowers and sunshine, in a soft, spring green dress. They arranged me to look like I was sleeping and laid my sword in my hands, like a proper knight. And my husband and son stood silent and pale, with dark circles under their eyes, and the rest of Narnia grieved.

As the funeral ended and I began to follow Caspian and Rilian back to the Cair, a strong breeze began to pick up. I felt it drawing me towards the ocean, but it didn't seem to stir a single blade of grass, leaf, or hair. Only I could feel it, and it took me out across the sea, higher and higher. The ocean was a bluish gray blur, with the occasional speck of green-gray of an island. I wondered if they were the same islands we had visited on our voyage.

And then the sea turned white and I knew that it was the lilies. I passed high above the never-ending wave that Reepicheep had sailed over many years ago.

I came to a gentle stop upon soft, green grass. I noticed immediately that I could feel it, whereas I hadn't been able to feel or touch anything in Narnia. I also noticed that I was no longer just a spirit, just air, but that I was solid and had a body once more. I waited for Aslan to come.

Almost as soon as I thought about it, he arrived, padding softly on his great paws out of an ancient looking forest that I felt I'd seen before somewhere. The air was filled with the melodious songs of brightly colored birds that flitted among the huge trees.

I ran forward to hug Aslan, wrapping my arms around his huge neck and relishing in his soft, golden mane.

"Daughter, you have come home," he said with a smile.

I nodded, still smiling myself. I looked around again at my surroundings. "I feel like I've been here before," I observed out loud.

Aslan merely said, "Perhaps in a dream."

With a blush of shame I nodded, looking down as I remembered. It had been shortly after I had come home from the voyage.

"So I've... I've died," I said after a few moments peaceful silence, saying it like a question.

Aslan looked at me sadly. "Yes, you have."

I looked back west, seeing only hazy blue-white. "So what do I do now?" I asked softly.

Aslan was thoughtfully quiet, looking in the same direction I was. "You may go home. Join your friends and loved ones who have also found eternal peace and life." He turned his golden eyes to look at me again.

But I continued looking west. "I... I should like that very much. But..."

Aslan's eyes were sad, gentle. "You cannot return, Rose. Your body has been put to rest, and you no longer belong to the world of the living."

I blinked away tears, and said quickly, "I know, I know. I know I can't... go back like before. But..."

I was thinking of the serpent, with its strange, calculating stare. Something told me that it wasn't merely ruled by instinct, that it was something more sinister altogether. Its gaze had seemed almost... human.

I swallowed. "I... I don't know if I'm ready to go... on. I feel like there is something in Narnia... I feel like I need to watch over Caspian and Rilian." I finished finally. I wasn't even entirely sure what held me back, but I realized in a few moments that it was fear. Not fear of what lay ahead, but of what I had left in Narnia.

Aslan studied me. "You do not want to go on?"

"No, I want to very much! But I feel like they still need me in Narnia, like there's something I didn't accomplish..." I trailed off, not knowing if what I was saying was the right thing.

I wasn't even sure if I really wanted to do what I was asking for. I wanted to go on to Aslan's country where there was no more suffering, no pain, only happiness and peace for eternity. A place so wonderful I couldn't even imagine it.

"There is evil growing in Narnia," Aslan said. "The unease that you and Caspian were unsure of is only the beginning. Narnia may need help in the future..." He stopped, leaving me to wonder what he meant. Who was to help Narnia?

Aslan continued after a moment's quiet. "You may go back then, as you were before I called you. You will exist only in spirit, and you will only watch over Narnia." Aslan looked at me expectantly.

"So I will be... a ghost?" I asked.

Aslan smiled. "If that is what you choose to label yourself."

With sudden fear, I asked, "Will I be like that forever? Or will I be able to go on eventually?"

"When whatever ties you to Narnia is gone or resolved, then you will be able to come home to my country," Aslan answered.

I nodded. "All right then."

As I went back across the ocean to Narnia, I wondered what kind of help Aslan would send, and what evil Narnia would face. I hoped it wouldn't be as devastating as the times before, and I could have been made sick with worry that someone I loved would be harmed.

I couldn't help but hope that the tie Aslan had spoken of would be resolved soon, and I could go on to His Country. Where there was no heartache any longer.

**Ok, please don't sharpen the pitchforks and light your torches yet! This isn't the last chapter obviously, so bear with me! I have my reasons for doing this, as you will soon see. One reason, though, is that I wanted to stick to canon, so... yeah. Don't be too harsh! **


	18. Chapter 18

**Phew! So relieved you didn't hate me after the last chapter! Thanks for your supportive reviews as always, and here is the next chapter **

**Chapter Eighteen**

I was always with Caspian or Rilian. I floated from room to room, only being able to watch over them, but not able to affect them or to speak to them. Caspian took to spending long hours alone in his study, not talking with anyone other than Drinian, Trumpkin, Trufflehunter, or Dr. Cornelius unless he had to.

Rilian was much worse. While Caspian grieved, he kept it hidden behind an expressionless mask, only showing true emotion when he was alone. But Rilian, as he was given to do, didn't bother to hide it. He no longer went on rides or hunts with his friends, no longer sparred with them in friendly competition. He seemed to have aged, and his former companions were too young, not as mature as he needed. They didn't know how to react to him, and so he took to spending time with Drinian, or going on long, solitary rides in the northern woods. I accompanied him, though he knew not, and I knew that he hoped to find the serpent and avenge me.

XXXX

I began to notice a curious thing. Time seemed to pass more quickly, events flying by with great speed. Before I knew it, several months had passed since my death. I began to leave Caspian and Rilian occasionally, to go and search elsewhere for answers. And every time when I returned, I would be shocked to discover how much time had passed.

When I returned from such an excursion, I realized that several weeks had passed. And I noticed that a change had come over Rilian. He returned from his rides weary and with dark circles under his eyes, but his horse seemed as fresh as if it had just come from the stables. I was unnerved when I looked in my son's eyes and saw what stirred in them. There was talk about the castle that Rilian had been seeing visions. I didn't know what to believe, and so I followed him the next time he set out.

He rode with a strong purpose about him, and emerged from the forest in the same meadow where I had met my death. The stream gurgled underneath the layer of ice that had formed over it, fallen autumn leaves trapped beneath. Rilian dismounted and let his horse wander about the clearing to graze on the short, brown grass. He sat down in the leaf-strewn meadow and waited.

The sun moved across the sky. And then, across the meadow, a lady appeared. She was ravishingly beautiful with long, curling black hair that shone in the cold light. Her skin was pearly white, and she was swathed in a shining green garment.

Rilian leaped to his feet and stared at her. His eyes were glassy and focused solely upon the woman, who beckoned to my son. And then fear gripped me; her eyes were unnervingly like that of a reptile, with yellow irises and a slit-like pupil.

"Rilian! Get away from her at once!" I shouted at my son. But of course he could not hear me. I had no voice.

I felt hopelessly helpless. But just then, the lady stepped back, and vanished. Rilian was left, standing as if in a trance, his eyes like that of a mad man.

XXXX

Thankfully, I was not the only one who had noticed the changes in Rilian. Drinian, who Rilian had grown closer to after my death, questioned him one evening.

"Your Highness," he began tentatively, "you must soon give over seeking the serpent. There is no true vengeance on a witless brute as there might be on a man. You weary yourself in vain." There was pity in his eyes. He had been my good friend, as well as captain of the _Dawn Treader _and one of Caspian's favored courtiers.

Rilian looked surprised, as if he had just woken from a nap. "My Lord, I have almost forgotten the worm these days."

Drinian frowned. I could tell he was surprised and confused. "Then why, I inquire, do you ride so continually in the northern woods?"

"My Lord," said my son, his eyes gaining the same shining, haunted look as before, "I have seen there the most beautiful thing that was ever made."

Drinian looked suspicious and distrustful, but quickly smoothed his face into an expression of mild interest. He began again, carefully, and very formal and polite so as not to offend Rilian.

"Fair Prince," he addressed him, "of your courtesy let me ride you tomorrow, so that I may also see this fair thing."

Rilian, his eyes growing sharp again, looked at his friend. His brown eyes searched the older man's, but he found nothing but earnestness there. "With a good will," he answered.

XXXX

The next day, they made the gallop to the glade where I had met my death by the serpent, and there Drinian witnessed the same spectacle that I had.

As they rode homeward, I saw by Drinian's face that he was disturbed, and I knew he suspected the same as me.

I stuck close by Drinian's side, trusting that he would do something. Surely he would tell Caspian, who would send soldiers to do away with the source of the problem. But as the day wore on and Drinian passed up several opportunities, my doubts and fears grew,

That night, Drinian paced the study in his suite of rooms, muttering to himself. At last he sighed and ran a hand over his bald head. "I shall not be a tale-bearer or blab. If the prince wishes to court this strange woman, it is not my place to put a stop to it." And with that, he doused his lamp and readied for bed.

I fled from his rooms, fear gripping me. If Drinian wouldn't tell Caspian, how was Rilian to be saved?

XXXX

I continued to shadow Drinian the next morning, shouting at him to tell what he had seen. But he was oblivious to my presence, and my pleas went unheard by all. At last I left him, deciding to follow Rilian to keep an eye on him, at least. But when I went to his chambers, he wasn't there. Nor was he anywhere to be found on the grounds of the castle. In panic, I flew to the little dell where he had met the lady before.

Upon my arrival, I knew it was too late. There I found his horse's hoof prints in the soft mud of the creek-bank. But there was no sign of my son or of the Green Lady.

XXXX

Search parties were sent to every corner of Narnia, and then into the neighboring lands. But there was no trace of Rilian. I hadn't expected there to be.

At last, Drinian told Caspian what he had seen. The man had been stricken since the night when Rilian had not returned. He knew that if he had told, there might have been something Caspian could have done. Ridden with guilt, he went to Caspian.

Kneeling before him on the floor, Drinian said to Caspian, "My Lord, slay me immediately as a great traitor, for by my silence, I have destroyed your son."

Caspian looked like a ghost of himself. His tanned skin was pale, his once-glittering dark eyes dull and circled underneath. He stared at his friend, frozen.

"Of what do you speak?" he whispered, his voice raw.

Drinian spilled out the story, great sobs racking his body. When he was done, Caspian stood suddenly, his face twisted in rage. He went to the wall, tearing a battle-axe from where it hung on the wall. Drinian knelt as still as a statue upon the floor as Caspian raised the blade above his head to deal his death.

I wanted to look away; I couldn't bear for Drinian to be killed. I rushed upon Caspian, ruffling his hair in my wake. Caspian paused, and I moved to stand between him and Drinian. Then Caspian brought the axe-blade down and I felt the air stir as the blade passed through me to strike the floor, where it lodged in the floorboards.

Drinian and I looked at Caspian, whose face was anguished and pained.

"I have lost my queen and my son; shall I lose my friend also?" Caspian cried out, his voice hoarse with grief.

Relief overwhelming me, I moved away as Caspian and Drinian embraced and wept for all they had lost in the past few months. When I was sure that there would be no more blades raised, I left the castle and soared out over the sea.

XXXX

The grass was as green and lush and the trees as full of birdsong as if it were the height of spring, despite the chill winter that gripped Narnia. I relished in the soft grass beneath my feet and the tickle of the pleasant, perfumed breeze on my face.

I turned at the sound of padding feet to find Aslan. His warm, gold eyes were sad and understanding.

"Rilian—" I began, my voice catching.

"I know, my Daughter."

"But, but she's taken him! That shining green woman, with the snake-eyes! She has him, she's got my son!" I cried, sinking to me knees.

Aslan lay down beside me. "Isn't there anything you can do?" I pleaded.

The Great Lion looked west. "I believe Narnia may be in need of help from your world yet again," he said softly.


	19. Chapter 19

**Sorry it's been forever guys. This is a really long chapter, and I was on a ship in Alaska, so I didn't have time to put it up. **

**But anyways, I hope you enjoy, and please review! I'll try to update again soon, but school starts tomorrow so it's gonna be hectic :P**

**Chapter Nineteen**

**~Eustace~**

I turned around the corner of the gym, following the path that ran between the wall and the hedge, whistling an old tune that came from a Narnian ballad. I was caught up in trying to remember the words that went with the next part, and so nearly tripped over the girl who sat in my path.

"Can't you look where you're going?" she snapped at me as she jumped to her feet. Her eyes were rimmed in red, but I ignored that as I grew irritated at how she'd addressed me.

"All _right,_ you needn't start—" I stopped though, because I saw that she was blinking very hard and fast and her mouth was turned down with lips pressed together tightly. Frowning again, I asked, "I say, Pole, what's up?"

She was Jill Pole, who I didn't know too well, but that was in the same form as me. She had dark hair, almost black, with light blue eyes, which looked as if they were threatening to spill over again.

"It's _Them, _I suppose—as usual," I stated darkly, pushing my hands into my pockets.

Jill nodded, looking at her feet, swallowing hard.

I sighed. "Now look here, there's no good for us all—" I began to lecture, but she interrupted me.

Her face turned red and she began to rant. "Oh, go away and mind your own business," she spat at me. "Nobody asked you to come barging in, did they? And you're a nice person to start telling us what we all ought to do, aren't you? I suppose you mean we ought to spend all our time sucking up to Them, and currying favor, and dancing attendance on Them like _you _do!"

Surprised and a little angry, I sat down on the grass, only to jump back up again when I realized it was wet. Brushing off my backside, I said, "Pole! Is that fair? Have I been doing anything of the sort this term? Didn't I stand up to Carter about the rabbit? And didn't I keep the secret about Spivvins—under torture too? And didn't I—"

Now she was crying in earnest. She turned away from me, arms crossed and said, her voice wavering, "I d-don't know and I don't care."

Looking at her for a moment, I sighed. Reaching into my pocket, I withdrew two peppermints and offered her one. After a few moments of sucking on the sweet, she seemed to calm down.

"I'm sorry, Scrubb. I wasn't fair. You have done all that—_this _term," she said, wiping her eyes.

Pleased I had gotten somewhere, I said, "Then wash out last term if you can. I was a different chap then. I was—gosh, what a little git I was!"

Jill gave a small smile. "Well, honestly you were."

"You think there's been a change, then?" I asked hopefully.

"It's not only me," said Jill, digging her toe into the grass. "Everyone's been saying so. _They've _noticed it. Eleanor Blakiston heard Adela Pennyfather talking about it in our changing room yesterday. She said, 'Someone's got hold of that Scrubb bloke. He's quite unmanageable this term. We shall have to attend to _him_ next.'"

I gave a little shudder. Though I had faced far more terrifying things than Adela Pennyfather and Them, I would like to avoid being 'attended to' all the same.

We were both quiet for a moment, just looking around the gloomy grounds and listening to water drip off the leaves.

Then Jill asked, "Why were you so different last term?"

I gave a small smile, remembering my experiences in Narnia. "A lot of queer things happened to me over the holidays," I answered cryptically.

"What sort of things?"

I was quiet for a few moments. _Should I tell her? _I thought I could trust her. But I was afraid she'd laugh at me, or think I was crazy. The same way I'd done to Lucy and Edmund.

"Look here, Pole, you and I hate this place about as much as anybody can hate anything, don't we?" I said.

She nodded and said, "I know I do."

I took a breath. "Then I really think I can trust you."

Jill raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Damn good of you."

"Yes, but this is a really terrific secret. Pole, I say, are you good at believing things? I mean, things that everyone here would laugh at?" I asked hesitantly. I didn't want her to laugh at me.

Jill looked thoughtful, which was good. She was considering this seriously. "I've never had the chance, but I think I would be."

I took another breath and steeled myself. "Could you believe me if I said I'd been right out of the world—outside this world—last holidays?"

"I wouldn't what you meant."

"Well, let's not bother about worlds then. Supposing I told you I'd been in a place where animals can talk and where there are—er—enchantments and dragons—and, well, all the sorts of things you have in fairy-tales." I felt awkward and embarrassed; I shouldn't have brought it up. She'd laugh at me for sure. I could feel my face turning bright red.

But Jill merely asked, rather shyly, "How did you get there?"

Our voices were growing quieter. I continued, relieved she wasn't laughing yet, and said, "By the only way you can—by Magic. I was with two cousins of mine. We were just... whisked away. They'd been there before."

To my intense relief, it seemed Jill believed me. She had leaned in closer, and her blue eyes were shining. But then, something seemed to occur to her and she jumped back, her eyes now fierce.

"If I find you've been pulling my leg I'll never speak to you again; never, never, never!" She threatened.

Afraid I'd lost her trust, I shook my head vigorously. "I'm not! I swear I'm not. I swear by—by everything."

Jill considered me through narrowed eyes. "All right. I'll believe you," she said slowly.

"And tell nobody?"

She looked offended. "What do you take me for?"

I smiled and she smiled back. But as we looked around the grounds again and took in the dull, overcast sky and the wet leaves and damp ground, the hopelessness of Experiment House sank in. We still had eleven weeks of the term left, and They were always around to torture us.

Jill shared my thoughts. Bitterly, she said, "But after all, what's the good? We're not there, we're here. And we jolly well can't get _there." _She glanced sideways at me. "Or can we?"

My heart began to race. "That's what I've been wondering. When we came back from That Place, Someone said that the two Pevensie kids, that's my two cousins, could never go there again. It was their third time, you see. I suppose they've had their share. But He never said that _I _couldn't! Surely he would have said so, unless he meant that I was to go back? And I can't help wondering, can we—could we-?"

Jill's eyes were sparkling again, she looked hopeful, and I knew my expression mirrored hers. "Do you mean, do something to make it happen?"

I nodded.

Jill looked as if she were thinking hard. Her brow furrowed and she looked at the ground. "You mean we might draw a circle on the ground, and write queer letters in it, and stand inside, and recite charms and spells?"

It was my turn to think. I had given it much thought about how to get Aslan to let me go back, and I had considered things like Jill's suggestion. But now that I thought more about it...

"Well," I started, "I believe that was the sort of thing I was thinking of, though I never did it. But now that it comes to the point, I've an idea that all those circles and things are a bunch of rot. I don't think He'd like them. It would look as if we thought we could make Him do things. But really, we can only ask Him."

"Who is this person you keep on talking about?" Jill wanted to know.

"They call Him Aslan in That Place," I said softly, thinking of the Great Lion.

"What a curious name!" Jill exclaimed.

"Not half so curious as himself," I said solemnly. "But let's get on. It can't do any harm, just asking." Thinking on my feet, I said, " Let's stand side by side, like this." I positioned myself next to Jill. "And we'll hold out our arms in front of us, with the palms down: like they did in Ramandu's Island—"

"Whose island?"

"I'll tell you about that another time," I said, eager to continue. "And He might like us to face the east. Let's see, where is the east?" I looked at the gray sky, trying to determine the position of the sun.

"I don't know," said Jill.

I shook my head. "It's an extraordinary thing about girls that they never know the points of the compass," I scoffed.

Jill was indignant. "You don't know it either!"

"Yes I do, if only you didn't keep on interrupting." I turned around in a circle, looking at the sky. "I've got it now. That's the east, facing up into the laurels." I pointed.

I turned to look at her. "Now, will you say the words after me?"

"What words?"

I sighed impatiently. "The words I'm going to say, of course!" I shook my head. "Now—"

I began, making it up as I went along. "Aslan, Aslan, Aslan!" And Jill repeated it.

"Please let us two go into—" I started to continue, but at that moment we heard a voice from the other side of the gym. "Pole? Yes, I know where she is. She's blubbing behind the gym. Shall I fetch her out?"

Jill and I shared a terrified glance at each other, and then we dove under the shrubs, scrambling up the steep, damp bank.

We paused for a moment near the top, panting and listening below. We heard more voices and knew they were after us.

I looked around desperately for an escape, but we were against the ivy- covered stone wall that ran all the way around the perimeter of the Experiment House grounds.

"If only the door were open again!" I exclaimed in frustration. It was nearly always locked, but there had been a few times, or maybe only once, in which it had been opened in the past. It led out onto the open moor, and would grant us escape.

"Well, it's worth a try!" Jill said, and we ran up to the door.

I gripped the handle, saying, "It's sure to be no good—" and turned it.

The door swung open, but instead of racing through as we had intended out onto the moor, we were frozen as still as statues.

Instead of gray heather and rolling hills meeting the gray sky, bright sunshine met our eyes. On our side of the wall, everything glittered as if sprinkled in diamonds as the sunshine caught the water droplets on the vegetation. Once our eyes adjusted to the brightness, we could see smooth, green turf and bright azure sky through the canopy of huge trees. Jewel-bright things flittered between the branches.

I looked over at Jill, whose face was frozen in wonder and fear. "Come on, Pole," I said breathlessly.

She hesitated, asking, "Can we get back? Is it safe?"

But then a voice shouted from just behind, threatening us again.

"Quick!" I said, grabbing hold of her hand, which was damp and dirty from our scramble through the laurels. "Here, hold hands. We musn't get separated."

And before she could resist, I pulled her through the doorway and into another world entirely.

XXX

The voices behind us were cut off suddenly, and the ivy-covered wall and door vanished from behind us. They were replaced by that rather park-like landscape of smooth grass and towering trees. The jewel-bright things swooping overhead turned out to be birds, and they filled the silence with their complex musical calls.

The air was still and fresh, and I felt invigorated.

Jill's hand still in mine, I walked forward, looking around. The huge trees, rather like cedars were venly spaced apart and there was no undergrowth to impede us. This allowed me to look ahead through the thick trunks to see blue sky.

We walked forward to that blueness, until we came to the edge of the highest cliff I had ever stood upon. I jerked Jill back, saying, "Look out!" as she had nearly walked right off.

I staggered back a bit, my heart pounding. It was a very long way down.

Jill wrenched her hand out of mine and turned to glare at me. "What's the matter?" she taunted, stepping to the very edge again. Then she looked down.

Way down the cliff, hundreds and hundreds of feet, were small, white puffs that I realized were clouds. Beyond them, I couldn't make out the ground. Jill's face turned from fearless and haughty to rather nervous, and she looked as if she wanted to take a few steps back. But when she tried to move, she began to wobble.

Fear raced through my veins and I shouted to her, "What are you doing, Pole? Come back—blithering little idiot!"

She began to lean over the edge, her face pale and faint, and I lunged to grab her. I tried to pull her back, but dizzy and senseless, she tore herself out of my grasp once again.

I felt myself knocked off balance by her sudden, violent movements, and as I put a foot out to steady myself, it caught nothing but air.

And then I screamed, because I was falling, falling down past that endless, towering cliff to the bottom that might not even be there.

But then I felt myself being lifted, up and out, away from the cliff face, by a warm, strong breeze. It cushioned me like a pillow, and I caught a glimpse of two specks on the edge of the cliff, one black and tiny, the other a bright, shining gold.


	20. Chapter 20

**I suck. I completely suck because I am too lazy to write a good chapter and update as often as I should. And I'm sorry that I suck so bad, and I don't even deserve your reads.**

**But here is another chapter, albeit not a great one, and I humbly ask for reviews, although I don't really deserve your kind words.**

**Chapter Twenty**

**~Rose~**

After Aslan had given me that cryptic warning, I returned to Narnia to watch over Caspian and the others.

Before my eyes, time seemed to whirl by, and several years passed. Caspian no longer openly grieved for me or Rilian, but I knew that it was still inside him. Knight after knight searched out my son, but none returned from their quests. Even I could not find them. Finally, Caspian enacted a law forbidding anyone else from taking up the search. As much as it pained him to give up all hope of finding the prince, he could not let anymore men lose their lives.

One night soon after this, I was wandering through the stables. I came to Anduril's stall, and saw that my ever-faithful companion was lying on his side in his bed of straw. He had aged drastically since my death and Rilian's disappearance, and I saw just how much then. His broad back was now swayed with age and work, the places above his eyes sunken, and his coat duller. My heart went out to him.

He looked tired and sad, his muzzle hovering listlessly just above the bedding and his breathing heavy and slow. A stabbing sadness pierced me as I realized my oldest friend was fading.

"Anduril," I wanted to say. I wanted to comfort him, to stroke him, to tell him that he would be home soon. For a moment it even seemed his ears twitched a little in my direction, but I told myself it was my imagination.

His breathing slowed and grew even more labored, and his head rested on the straw. He gave one more heavy sigh, and then his spirit drifted from his aged body and it was still.

I knew he saw me then, but Aslan was calling him home. I raised my hand in a goodbye and smiled at him sadly, before he whinnied his own goodbye and left me, once more alone and invisible.

XXX

Time continued on, and I watched everyone I knew grow grayer, more lined, and more stooped with the weight of their years pressing down upon them.

It was strange, seeing my husband become an old man, with a long gray beard and a lined, wrinkled face. And when that time came, I felt Aslan's pull on me, and I answered.

When I entered His Country once again, I knew that something was happening. Aslan stood on the cliff-top, gazing West.

He turned, fixing me with his golden eyes. "Rose, the time has come, and Narnia is in need of help again."

"But who can help?" I asked hopelessly.

"I believe you have already met them once before. A boy, who at one time was most disagreeable, but who has undergone a great Change." Aslan's eyes twinkled.

I felt my own grow wide. "Eustace? Eustace Scrubb? You've brought _him _to help Narnia?"

"He will need some assistance, of course," Aslan said. "One of his friends from school, Jill Pole. I have given her a set of signs to guide her in their task."

I was speechless. The fate of my son, and Narnia, in the hands of _Eustace Scrubb _and a girl of which I had never heard.

"I see that you do not have much confidence in whom I have chosen," Aslan said.

"I-It's just that..." I couldn't voice what I was feeling. I wasn't even sure what it was. Maybe... disappointment? Doubt?

Aslan's golden eyes were soft. "You are afraid that Rilian will be lost."

I nodded.

After a moment more, Aslan spoke again. "Jill Pole is a proud girl. You know what Eustace is like, though he has changed vastly for the better." He studied me closely, and I felt laid bare under his scrutiny.

At length he seemed satisfied. "Go with them, Daughter. Go with them in their journey, to help steer them in the right direction if they seem lost. With you, perhaps the task I have set for them will be accomplished."

And with a smile, I was sent back across the wide ocean to Narnia, where a great celebration and sending-off was being held.

XXX

Brightly colored flags, banners, and crowds filled the lawn of the harbor. Sitting atop the smooth water was a jewel-bright ship, slightly larger than the _Dawn Treader._ Her sails were furled, and a gangplank led up to her deck. People bustled up and down it as the crowd filled the air with its noise: music and laughter and cheers.

And then the gangplank cleared, and I saw Caspian, old and gray, wearing a scarlet cloak and leaning upon a cane at the foot of the gangplank. He said some words to the crowd, who was now quiet. When he had finished, he bent down and kissed fat little Trumpkin, who sat in a little cart pulled by a donkey, and then turned and boarded the ship.

All around, people took out their handkerchiefs to wave and to sob into. The gangplank was lowered, the ship was cast off, and it steadily began making its way out of the harbor.

Sadness overwhelmed me. Caspian was leaving Narnia, going to the Seven Isles. Rumors that Aslan had been in Terebinthia has spurred him to go search for him, to find who would succeed him as King, since Rilian was... gone.

I tried to shake off my feelings. I had to find Eustace and this girl Jill. Before they got into too much trouble.


	21. Chapter 21

**Here, finally, is another chapter.**

**Please review! And I'll try to update soon, despite my hectic life :P**

**Chapter Twenty-One**

**~Eustace~**

To my shock and amazement, I landed in the middle of a brightly colored crowd of who I assumed to be Narnians, at a harbor. I saw a castle for the first time up on a high cliff to my left, its towers and turrets and walls and windows gleaming majestically in the late evening light.

I stood and watched from a distance the old man boarding the ship, the crowd mourning. I hardly even noticed Jill land nearby, and ignored her presence until after the ship had departed.

Then she grabbed my arm, much to my annoyance, and said, "Scrubb! Scrubb, quick! Do you see anyone you know?"

I jerked my arm free of her grasp and snapped, "So _you've _turned up again, have you? Well keep quiet, I want to listen." I went back to watching the crowd.

Jill huffed. "Don't be a fool. There isn't a moment to lose! Don't you see some old friend here? Because you've got to speak to him at once!"

With a frustrated sigh, I gave in and turned to face her. "What _are _you talking about?"

With a pleading look on her face, she told me, "It's Aslan—the Lion—says you've got to. I've seen Him!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh you have, have you?" I mocked her, forgetting for a moment that I'd never mentioned Aslan was a Lion. "What did He say?"

"He said the first person you'd see in Narnia would be an old friend of yours, and you'd have to speak to him at once!"

I turned away again, crossing my arms. "Well, there's nobody here I've ever seen in my life before; and anyway, I don't know whether this _is _Narnia."

Jill looked outraged. "I thought you said you'd been here before!"

"Well, you thought wrong then." The truth was, I was completely unsure of what to do. I had never actually set foot in or laid eyes on Narnia itself. I had only been aboard the _Dawn Treader_ and only knew the few people who had also been on the voyage.

"Well, I like that!" Jill scoffed. "You told me—"

"For Heaven's sake, dry up already!" I cried, annoyed by her accusatory and whining tone, and also afraid to admit to her I didn't know what to do.

I took a deep breath and said, "Now—"

I was interrupted at that moment by a huge white owl gliding out of nowhere to land at our feet. Jill and I both took a step back, incredulous at its size. It was nearly as tall as my waist, and its great round eyes gleamed with a human intelligence.

It hooted, and then asked in a voice similar to those sounds, "Who are you two?"

Jill could only stare, still too shocked by the fact it was talking, but I had met Talking Animals before.

"My name's Eustace Scrubb, and this here is Jill Pole. Would you mind telling us where we are?"

The Owl answered in the same soft, hooting voice, "In the land of Narnia, at the King's castle of Cair Paravel."

Relief washed over me. So we _were _in Narnia, and I had heard of Cair Paravel too.

"Is that the King who's just set sail on the ship?" I asked.

The Owl nodded his round, feathered head, his yellow eyes sad. "Too true, too true. But who are you? There's something magic about you two. I saw you arrive—you _flew_. Everyone else was busy seeing the King off that nobody knew. Except me. I happened to notice you, you flew."

I leant in a little and said in a low voice, so we wouldn't be over heard, "Aslan sent us here."

The Owl gave a little hop and ruffled his feathers, hooting. "This is almost too much for me, so early in the evening. I'm not quite myself till the sun's gone down."

Jill broke into the conversation suddenly, as if she'd been worried about being left out. "And we've been sent to find the lost prince!" she said a little too loudly.

I looked at her sharply. "This is the first I've heard of it. What prince?"

With a little more hooting, the Owl suggested we speak to the Lord Regent, who was the plump, elderly Dwarf in the donkey-drawn cart.

"What is the King's name?" I asked suddenly, curious.

"Caspian the Tenth," hooted the Owl.

I felt the blood drain from my face, and my heart gave an unpleasant _thump. _Disbelief took hold of me as I remembered the Caspian I knew and the old man I'd seen boarding the ship. He had been so white and wrinkled and _old. _It couldn't possibly be him; Caspian the Tenth should only be a little older, still young and strong and handsome.

I noticed Jill giving me a strange look, and I realized some of my shock must be showing on my face. But before she could ask, we reached the Lord Regent, Trumpkin the Dwarf, whom I had also heard about from Lucy.

During the long and drawn out conversation that followed between us and the nearly deaf Dwarf, we managed to introduce ourselves and explain that we were sent by Aslan. We learned the Owl's name was Glimfeather, and Trumpkin instructed him to see that we had bedchambers and suitable clothes.

They led us through an orchard and through the Northern Gate of the Cair and into a grassy courtyard. I looked up and could see the tall, stained-glass windows of the Great Hall, glowing within, on our right.

Glimfeather led us ahead to another part of the castle, where we met servants who took us to our rooms. Jill was led away to her room in a turret by a wood-nymph, and I was taken to mine in another part of the castle.

After I had bathed and dressed in some of the clothes they had given me, I set out to find Jill. It took me ages—the castle was huge, with winding halls and stairs, hundreds of chambers and studies, and sprawling kitchens. But at last I found her, clean and also wearing new clothes, with a dreamy expression on her face.

I was cross again that she would be enjoying herself so much when I was not. I flung myself into an overstuffed armchair, saying, "Well here you are at last. I've been trying to find you for ages!"

"Well now you have," she said happily. She then sprawled out across her four-poster bed, sighing. "I say, Scrubb, isn't it all too wonderful and exciting for words?"

"Oh, is that what you think, is it?" I asked sarcastically. But it only lasted a second, and I began brooding again. "I wish to goodness we'd never come."

Jill sat up, surprise etched on her face. "Why on earth?"

I sunk lower in my chair at the mere thought of it. "I can't bear it. Seeing the King—Caspian—a doddering old man like that. It's—it's frightful!"

Jill tilted her head a bit, looking like a confused dog. "Why, what harm does it do you?"

I gave a sigh that was more like a huff, and said, "Oh you don't understand. You couldn't. I didn't tell you this world has a different time than ours."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, the time you spend here doesn't take up any of our time. Do you see? I mean, however long we spend here, we'll still get back to school at the moment we left it—"

"That won't be much fun—" Jill started.

Infuriated that she wasn't grasping the seriousness of what I was trying say, I shouted, "Oh, shut up, would you? Quit interrupting!"

Her mouth snapped shut, and I continued.

"And when you're back in England, in our world, you can't tell how much time is passing here. It might be any number of years in Narnia while we're having one year at home. The Pevensies explained it all to me, but, like a fool, I forgot it. And now apparently it's been about seventy years since I was here last. And I come back and find Caspian and old, old man."

I leaned back in my chair, drained again by the thought of it.

Jill had sat bolt upright, her face going pale. "Then the King _was _an old friend of yours!"

"I should jolly well think so. About as good a friend as one could have. And last time I saw him he was only a few years older than me. And to see that old man with a white beard, and to remember Caspian as he was the morning we captured the Lone Islands, or in the fight with the Sea Serpent—oh, it's dreadful! Almost worse than coming back and finding him dead!" I lamented.

"Oh, shut up, it's far worse than you think!" Jill snapped. "We've gone and messed up the first Sign."

"What about Signs?" I asked.

She _finally _decided to fill me in on what Aslan had told her after she'd knocked me off the cliff, and then we argued about whose fault it was that we'd missed the first Sign. But we were interrupted by the ringing of a bell, signaling supper was about to be served.

During the meal, my mind roamed back to those adventures we'd had upon the _Dawn Treader. _As I stumbled sleepily up the stairs and into my room, I briefly thought of other people who'd been on the ship with me. Reepicheep, Drinian, Rynelf, Rose... _Rose, _I thought, just before falling asleep. _Where has gone? _But then I was no longer concerned, because I'd fallen into a solid sleep.


	22. Chapter 22

**Yay! I've been good, and have written another chapter! **

**I know since I've been really inactive lately some people have probably given up on me, but I will finish this story!**

**Please review!**

**PS: The part in italics is the original text from **_**The Silver Chair. **_**I wanted to include the original version of the story as well as my own.**

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

**~Eustace~**

I was woken what felt like minutes later by a noise. At first when I was roused, I wasn't sure what had woken me, and I sat very still, eyes and ears straining in the dark to see or hear what it was.

A flurry of motion and a loud _tap _outside my window made me jump. I went to the window and saw the Owl that had first come to us—Glimfeather- wheeling about in the darkness outside my window. I opened it and he came swooping inside with a gust of cool, damp air.

I opened my mouth to say something, but he cut me off. "Hush, hush, don't make noise," he hooted softly. "Come with me now, if you really want to find the Prince, and I'll tell you what you've got to do."

"How am I supposed to do that?" I whispered fiercely. "I don't know how to get downstairs and out of the castle!"

Glimfeather puffed his feathers and said, "No, not through the castle!" He turned around on the windowsill with his back to me and then twisted his head all the way around to say, "You'll have to ride on my back!"

Seeing as how he wasn't even as big as I was, I didn't see how this was going to be possible. After all, birds have hollow bones to make them lighter. I had read numerous books on ornithology at home.

I told this to Glimfeather, who tutted and admonished me for taking too long and told me to pack some things, and then I hesitantly wrapped my legs around his round little body.

He dove off the windowsill at once, and I had to bite my tongue to keep from crying out as my stomach swooped. But then we were rising through the air, moonlight peaking through the clouds that promised rain above us. Glimfeather glided nearly silently, his wide wings hardly making a sound.

We flew over farms and fields and a forest, and then the Owl began to fly lower towards a taller black structure. As we closed in, I saw it was a ruin of an old guard tower, covered in vines and crumbling stone. We sailed through the arched, broken window and I rolled off of Glimfeather's back.

There was a lot of shuffling and hooting and ruffling of feathers, and I deduced that the little room was crowded with other Owls. Glimfeather took off again nearly at once, and left me with the other birds.

After a few minutes of hooting and being questioned by the Owls, Glimfeather arrived again with Jill.

"Is that you, Pole?" I asked.

"Is that you, Scrubb?" she answered. She scooted over to sit next to me with our backs against the crumbling stone wall.

Glimfeather spoke up, silencing the other Owls. "Now, I think we're all here. Let us begin a parliament of Owls."

The others hooted their agreement.

I was struck with a sudden realization that I had no idea what they were doing here. They could be plotting something, and I didn't know where their loyalties lay.

"Half a moment," I interrupted. "There's something I want to say first."

I was given permission to continue.

"I suppose all you chaps- er- Owls- know that King Caspian the Tenth, in his younger days, sailed to the eastern end of the world. Well, I was with him on that journey: with him and Reepicheep the Mouse, and the Lord Drinian and Lady Rose and all of them. I know it sounds hard to believe, but people don't age the same in our world as yours. And what I want to say is that I'm the King's man, and if this gathering of owls is any sort of plot against the King, I'm having nothing to do with it." I ended with my arms crossed and gave a nod to emphasize my point.

The Owls all hooted vehemently that they were "all the King's Owls too," and that it was no plot against him.

Appeased, I sat back against the wall. "Right. What's all this about then?"

"It's only that if the Lord Regent, Trumpkin, hears that you are going to look for the lost Prince, he won't let you start. He'd lock you away if he had too," said Glimfeather.

I was shocked. "Great Scott! You don't mean Trumpkin's a traitor? I used to hear a lot about him in the old days, and from my cousin Lucy! Caspian—the King, I mean—trusted him completely!"

"Oh no," said a voice from somewhere else. "Trumpkin is no traitor. But more than thirty champions—knights, centaurs, fauns, all sorts—have at one time or another set out to look for the Prince and none have ever returned! And at last the King said he wasn't going to let all of the bravest Narnians be killed in searching for his son. So now no one is allowed to go."

"But surely he'd let _us _go. When he knew who I was and who'd sent me," I protested.

"Sent both of us," Jill interjected with a small pout.

"Yes, I think he would," agreed Glimfeather. "But the king's away, and Trumpkin will stick to the rules."

An Owl imitated Trumpkin's croaking voice, and Jill and I were surrounded for a moment by Owlish laughter.

"How long will the King be away?" I asked.

Glimfeather explained that none of them knew, and that there were rumours Aslan was in the islands. Caspian wanted to see Him one more time to find who should succeed him as king.

"But we're all afraid that, if he doesn't meet Aslan in Terebinthia, he'll go on east. He never talks about it, but we all know he's never forgotten that voyage to the world's end. I'm sure that in his heart he wants to go there again," Glimfeather finished.

"So there's no use waiting for him to come back?" Jill asked, covering a yawn.

"No, no good. If only you two had known and spoken to him at once! He'd have arranged everything—probably have given you an army to go with you in search of the Prince."

Jill was very still and quiet all of a sudden, and I thought bitterly that she must be thinking about _why _we hadn't.

"Well, it wasn't _my _fault," I muttered under my breath. Then I louder, I said, "Very well. We'll have to manage without. Now tell us all about the lost Prince."

Then an old owl in the back cleared his throat and told the story.

"_Well, a several years ago, when Rilian, the son of Caspian, was a very young knight, he rode with the Queen his mother on a May morning in the north parts of Narnia. They had many squires and ladies with them and all wore garlands of fresh leaves on their heads and horns at their sides; but they had no hounds with them, for they were maying, not hunting. In the warm part of the day they came to a pleasant glade where a fountain flowed freshly out of the earth, and there they dismounted and ate and drank and were merry._

"_After a time the Queen felt sleepy, and they spread their cloaks for her on the grassy bank, and Prince Rilian with the rest of the party went a little way from her, so that their tales and laughter might not wake her._

"_And so, presently, a great serpent came out of the thick wood and stung the Queen in her hand. All heard her cry out and rushed toward her, and Rilian was first at her side. He saw the worm gliding away from her and made after it with his sword drawn. It was great, shining, and green as poison, so that he could see it well. But it glided away into thick bushes and he could not come at it. _

"_So he returned to his mother, and found them all busy about her. But they were busy in van, for at the first glance of her face Rilian knew that no physic in the world would do her good. As long as the life was in her she seemed to be trying hard to tell him something. But she could not speak clearly and, whatever her message was, she died without delivering it. It was then hardly ten minutes since they had first heard her cry._

"_They carried the dead Queen back to Cair Paravel, and she was bitterly mourned by Rilian and by the King, and by all of Narnia. She had been a great lady, wise and gracious and happy, who aided the King in defeating the Telmarines and restoring the Narnians._

"_The Prince took his mother's death very hardly, as well he might. After that, he was always riding on the northern marches of Narnia, hunting for that venomous worm, to kill it and be avenged. No one remarked much on this, though the Prince came home from these wanderings looking tired and distraught. _

"_But about a month after the Queen's death, some said they could see a change in him. There was a look in his eyes as of a man who has seen visions, and though he would be out all day, his horse showed no signs of hard riding. His chief friend among the older courtiers was the Lord Drinian, he who had been his father's captain on that great voyage to the east parts of the world."_

"I knew him well," I interrupted. "He was a good, honest fellow, though he did like to tell fanciful tales."

The Owls nodded and hooted their agreement, and then the old one continued.

"_One evening Drinian said to the Prince, "Your Highness must soon give over seeking the worm. There is no true vengeance on a witless brute as there might be on a man. You weary yourself in vain."_

_The Prince answered him, "My Lord, I have almost forgotten the worm these seven days."_

_Drinian asked him why, if that were so, he rode so continually in the northern woods. _

"_My lord," said the Prince, "I have seen there the most beautiful thing that was ever made."_

"_Fair Prince," said Drinian, "of your courtesy let me ride with you tomorrow, that I may also see this fair thing." _

"_With a good will," said Rilian._

"_Then in good time on the next day they saddled their horses and rode a great gallop into the northern woods and alighted at the same fountain where the Queen got her death. Drinian thought it strange that the Prince should choose that place of all places, to linger in. and there they rested till it came to high noon: and at noon Drinian looked up and saw the most beautiful lady he had ever seen; and she stood at the north side of the fountain and said no word but beckoned to the Prince with her hand as if she bade him come to her. And she was tall and great, shining, and wrapped in a thin garment as green as poison. And the Prince stared at her like a man out of his wits. But suddenly the lady was gone, Drinian knew not where; and the two returned to Cair Paravel. It stuck in Drinian's mind that this shining green woman was evil._

"_Drinian doubted very much whether he ought not to tell this adventure to the king, but he had little wish to be a tale-bearer and a blab and so he held his tongue. But afterward he wished he had spoken. For next day Rilian rode out alone. That night he came not back, and from that hour no trace of him was ever found in Narnia nor any neighboring land, and neither his horse nor his hat nor his cloak nor anything else was ever found. _

"_Then Drinian in the bitterness of his heart went to Caspian and said, "Lord King, slay me speedily as a great traitor: for by my silence I have destroyed your son." And he told him the story. Then Caspian caught up a battle-axe and rushed upon the Lord Drinian to kill him, and Drinian stood still as a stock for the death blow. But when the axe was raised Caspian suddenly threw it away and cried out, "I have lost my queen and my son: shall I lose my friend also?" and he fell upon the Lord Drinian's neck and embraced him and both wept, and their friendship was not broken._

"_And such is the story of Prince Rilian."_

The old owl finished his tale, and we were quiet for a few moments, letting it all sink in.

At last Jill broke the silence. "I bet that serpent and that woman were the same person."

The owls hooted their agreement. "But we don't think she killed the Prince," Glimfeather said, "because no bones—"

I interrupted. "We know she didn't. Aslan told Pole he was still alive somewhere."

At this point I was feeling very tired and my brain was fuzzy. I rubbed at my temples, wishing I could just go back to bed. The tale of Prince Rilian had only made me feel like our whole quest was hopeless. After all, if all the best champions of Narnia had been destroyed looking for him, how the blazes were _we_ supposed to find him?

"That almost makes it worse," the old owl was saying. "It means she's got some use for him, and some deep scheme against Narnia. Long, long ago, at the very beginning, a White Witch came out of the North and bound our land in snow and ice for a hundred years. And we think this may be some of the same crew."

I nodded. I'd heard all about the Witch Jadis and the great battle to end her reign from my cousins, many times.

I sighed. "Very well, then. Pole and I have got to find this Prince. Can you help us?"

"Have you any clue what to do, you two?" asked Glimfeather.

"Yes. We know we've got to go north. And we know we've got to reach the ruins of a giant city," I told them.

There was a great ruffling of feathers, and it suddenly seemed as if the Owls had plenty of reasons why they couldn't help us. Apparently, the idea of the giant city wasn't an appealing one.

But Glimfeather at least said, "If they want to go that way—into Ettinsmoor—we must take them to one of the Marsh-wiggles. They're the only people who can help them much."

So he and another Owl volunteered to fly Jill and I to these Marsh-wiggle people.

As Glimfeather was talking to Jill, who had fallen asleep, I turned to the old Owl.

"What was the name of Caspian's queen, again?" I asked, not being able to remember. It seemed like I should know.

"Why, Lady Rosaline, or Rose as she liked to be called. And a fine queen she was, bold and wise and kind, and with that fiery hair. I can even remember her engagement announcement..." the Owl continued, but it all faded away.

_Rose_. It couldn't be anyone else. My stomach churned and my heart began to race. I even felt tears pricking at my eyes as I remembered her, strong and young and _alive_, standing on the deck of the _Dawn Treader_ kissing Edmund goodbye as we rowed off across the sea of lilies.

Edmund. God, what would I tell him? I dug the heels of my hands into my temples. How the bloody hell would I tell him that the woman he loved had married Caspian, become mother of his child, and then been murdered senselessly by some witch?

"Eustace, are you ready to go?" asked a sleepy Jill.

I looked up at her, momentarily confused. We were leaving somewhere? I looked around the room at the others. No one seemed to grasp the profound effect this news had had on me, or how much had changed in the few seconds that had passed.

I took a breath and stood up. If I had been uncertain and hopeless about finding Prince Rilian before, my doubts and reservations were gone now.

One thing I was certain of—I had to find Rose's son, for Narnia and for Caspian, but also for _her. _

XXX

**A/N: So that part about the queen dying without saying something—when I first read that, I wondered what she'd been trying to say. I guess Lewis implied she was trying to tell Rilian who'd killed her, but it sparked my imagination.**

**And that's where the whole Rilian-is-really-Edmund's-son plot thing came from, in case you ever wondered. I did have a plan. **


	23. Chapter 23

**Finally another chapter. This one's from Rose's POV, hope you enjoy. **

**Please review!**

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

**~Rose~**

It didn't take me long to find Eustace and the girl, Jill. They stood a little apart from the crowd, wearing their school clothes from England and talking to an Owl. They looked discomfited, Jill glance around looking lost and bewildered and Eustace looking extremely irritated, throwing glances all around him.

It hurt to see Eustace only a bit older than the last time I had seen him, all those years ago. I desperately wanted to talk to him, to ask him about Edmund and the others. But all I could do was move closer and listen.

After they talked with Trumpkin, who had grown old and deaf, and were taken to the castle, I chose to follow Jill to her rooms. I needed to know more about her.

She bathed and dressed and sat by the fire and gazed out her window, which was very dull to me. I had plenty of time to study her, however. She had long, straight dark hair and was pale from the gloomy days at Experiment House, which I remembered as the name of the school Eustace attended. She was thin and her figure was like a boy's, as she had not yet hit that point in her teenage years when her body would mature and become more feminine. However, she had a fairly pretty face, though it wasn't nearly as striking as Susan's or even Lucy's.

Finally Eustace came in, and I listened closely to what he said about seeing Caspian. I learned about the signs Aslan had given them, and then they got into an argument before the dinner bell was rung.

I went with them to supper, and continued to dwell on what Eustace had said about seeing Caspian as an old man. It was nearly as much of a shock as me seeing Eustace so young. And I wondered if he remembered me.

XXX

I went back and forth between their rooms after they went back up for bed, and then followed them to the Owl's parliament building. They discussed their purpose for meeting, and then an old Owl told the story of how my son was lost, and the tale of my death.

Hearing it caused the ache to come back again, and I longed for things to be what they had once been, so long ago, back in the Golden Age. For the hundredth time, I wished it could have stayed like that forever. But, just like the times before, I brushed it away, knowing longing wouldn't change a thing.

I waited to see how Eustace reacted to hearing it, but it didn't seem to affect him. I was perplexed that he didn't seem to care as much as I'd expected him to, and a little shocked that he seemed more interested in going back to bed.

But then with surprise I remembered that _Eustace didn't know. _How could he have known I'd become pregnant and married Caspian and had his cousin's child? How could he have known that I'd been the queen of the story, killed by a serpent or perhaps a witch?

I felt so frustrated then, wishing I could tell him everything. But they just went on discussing how to help Rilian and how to get to the city of the giants. Jill had fallen asleep during the conversation, and Eustace kept yawning and rubbing the back of his head. I silently urged them to say my name, so that Eustace could know.

At last! "What was the name of Caspian's queen again?" Eustace asked as an afterthought as the Owls tried to rouse Jill.

I pricked up my ears, watching Eustace's face.

"Why, Lady Rosaline, or Rose as she liked to be called. And a fine queen she was, bold and wise and kind, and with that fiery hair. I can even remember her engagement announcement..." said the old Owl.

And then it hit him. His face grew pale and his eyes rounder. His breath hitched a bit and he leaned back against the wall, staring past the Owl, perhaps lost in memory. Had I the ability to cry, I would have, at the look on his face.

XXX

The Owls flew them, on their backs, northward to the Great Marsh. These vast marshlands stretched from about fifteen leagues northeast from Cair Paravel all the way to just south of the River Shribble. They were inhabited primarily by the strange Marsh-Wiggles, whom I had only met with on a few occasions.

Jill was rather silent on the flight, but Eustace and his Owl talked continuously about the voyage of the _Dawn Treader _and what had happened since they'd gone back to England, and more about me and Caspian and Rilian.

After some time, the Owls landed in the marsh and called out, "Wake up, Puddleglum. Wake up. It is on the Lion's business."

A lantern light appeared some minutes later, and grew steadily closer through the misty air. A voice answered, "Owls? What is it? Is the King dead? Has an enemy invaded Narnia? Is it a flood, or dragons?"

I would have chuckled at the owner of the voice's assuming of the worst. I was very curious to see this person.

At last he reached us, and I studied him through the lantern light as he talked the situation over with Glimfeather. He was very tall, with grayish green skin and hair. He had a morose face, with sunken cheeks and gray eyes and a tight mouth. But what was most striking about him were his hands and feet, which had long digits and webbing in between, like those of a frog's.

The Marsh-wiggle, Puddleglum he was called, bid the Owls goodbye and took Jill and Eustace to his house. It was less of a house than a small, conical structure made of woven reeds and grasses and plastered with mud to keep out the wind. Puddleglum called it a wigwam.

Jill and Eustace fell asleep quickly, exhausted by the long, chilly flight.


End file.
